2 kids

Open wound.

Alex.

The coward I am, I've run off again.

Feeling the heavy weight of the decision to tell Ashley the whole truth. I'm hiding from it. Doing everything to avoid having to rip the wound open.

I feel her hands sneak around my torso and her cheek softly rest on my back. I run a hand up and down hers, while the other swirls the whiskey in the glass. The ice has melted a long time ago and the amber-like liquid shines under the moonlight.

Her voice is soft like the summer breeze. "What's wrong?" I swallow hard, bringing the glass to my lips. Without offering her an answer, I leave the glass at the wooden railing, grab her hand and almost storm off while the party continues. Just the fifteen of us, alcohol, good music and nothing else. We don't need more to enjoy a private party.

I ignore Ashley's attempt to talk to me right now, just lead the way. Through the sand, by the crashing waves, until the panic doesn't settle entirely in my chest. I slow down, inhaling and exhaling heavily. I should have thought this through. Made a mental plan for how I wanted to reveal the pieces of truth to her.

"Alex!" She raises her voice, pulling my hand back. I turn around, meeting her grey eyes huge and confused. "What's going on? Where are we going?"

Here goes literally everything.

"You deserve the truth," I say. I fight the tremble in my voice. "And I'm going to tell you everything tonight."

I look back at the house, at my friends having fun. Dancing and drinking and laughing. And I swear I spot Ace standing on the porch, looking our way. Holding up his drink and giving me that proud smile I needed all these years. Until now, I never knew I needed him to offer it to me. Never knew I needed to see that look in his eyes.

And for a second I second guess if it was Ace or him.

I pull Ashley's hand to sit down in the sand. Her eyes travel across my face, worry lacing her beautiful features.

"I had a brother once," I start. Already feeling my heart breaking, already feeling the pain erupting over me like a freshly exploded volcano. "But I killed him."

She reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. One touch of her delicate velvet skin and I'm bringing the walls around my mind back up again.

"He was... he was everything to me. A brother, a best friend, a protector, an inspiration. He..." I inhale sharply, forcing the next words out of me. I haven't spoken about him since the night I watched him die six years ago. Not since the night I died with him. "Whenever I got into trouble, with our without Ace, he always had my back. He always had our backs. He didn't care what we did, didn't ask questions, he just showed up and saved our asses. Over and over again, with the same love each time. I could've burned down an entire building and he'd be there before the cops, taking the blame on him. I've never met anyone as loyal and honest as him."

The ache in my heart grows. It starts to sting, so fucking much, it makes me nauseous. "He's the one who brought me to the music world. Him and my dad.. they were obsessed with music. He introduced me to all the greatest artists, showed me the art of songwriting and music production. We spent so many late nights when he wrote and produced, and I listened to what he'd make and took notes. Everything I know, he taught me. He loved music more than anything, more than anyone. He loved it more than his life. It was his oxygen, his fucking drug." The world spins and for a second the ocean is upside down. "He's the reason I'm doing what I'm doing. He's the reason I'm in the band. Fuck, he's the reason the band even is."

This was a mistake. A fucking huge mistake. I should never –

I shake my head. "Him and Nico showed us what a real friendship is. They, alongside Leo's older brother, were a trio we looked up to. That's how I know Leo. We grew up together. Ace, him and I, we used to the inseparable. I never thought we'd end up like this. We did everything together, copying our brothers. I knew them better than I knew myself. Until -"