2 kids

Closed doors.

Alex.

The glass flies through the air and shatters into a thousand small pieces as it collides with the wall. The sound echoes through the room, breaking the deadly silence lingering in the air.

I watch all of this happen sitting still like a statue, quiet and not the slightest surprised at all. I don't move an inch when the glass breaks, neither does River or Mae. The three of us stare at Ace, waiting for his next reaction.

Nothing happens in the next few minutes. Silence wraps the entire room, strapping us naked of the ability to talk. If there were words in this world, appropriate to say aloud now, they aren't to be found in our vocabulary.

After exactly five minutes, Mae starts to tap her nails on the kitchen counter. Quietly, scared to disturb Ace's anxious thinking. He's been pacing back and forth in the kitchen the whole time, standing for over an hour now. I wonder how many steps he's made like this – going back and forth like a human yoyo.

I've been quietly observing him the whole time. Over an hour of my life – that's how long I've sacrificed my time to watch him slowly lose his mind even more. I've shared some of my suggestions with him, but they never seemed to have reached his ears. For the past forty minutes, I've been deadly quiet.

When River came I had no will left to explain. I didn't have to. He sat quietly down next to me, followed by Mae a few short minutes later. Neither of them dared to break the heavy silence.

And they still haven't.

Ace's the first one to break the silence. He doesn't address us, he addresses the air, venting his thoughts, still pacing back and forth.

Seeing him like this slowly brings me nuts. Sooner or later it's going to reflect on us all, like the result of a chain reaction. And he'll already have gone crazy by then.

His sentences are mostly filled with profanities. He's not holding himself back, that much I can say.

I look at the time. For a while I keep on staring at my watch, watching the hands move. When three whole minutes have passed by, I stand up, and without a word walk to the hall. I put my shoes on and search for my keys.

This time Mae breaks the silence. In a way she doesn't break it at all because she only whispers, but in our case the silence was fragile like a little newborn baby. She's shattered it now.

I ignore her, just like Ace is ignoring us. If he goes nuts now I wish for River to survive.

*********

It's not the season for the weather to feel this cold.

Stepping outside I inhale deeply and exhale quickly and shortly. Without allowing myself to think more about it, I put on my helmet and jump on my motorcycle. The phone in my pocket starts to vibrate, but I ignore it. If this works out they can kill me afterwards.

Even the streets tonight seem to be strange, too different. It's still New York, crowded and loud, but less than usual. Maybe I'm the problem here, maybe I'm looking at things too differently tonight. I've only experienced this feeling once before, and I still don't know how to explain what I'm feeling or how to cope with it.

Halfway on my way I stop and take a break. It's a quiet neighbourhood, not many people walking by. A couple passes me, both deeply in love, fingers intertwined. The girl, tall and thin with a pixie cut that's slowly growing out, gives me a quick glance, but other than that they ignore me.

An older lady stares at me through her window. The whole time I lean against my bike her eyes are fixed on me. I want to assure her I'm not planning on stealing anything from her or vandalising the flowers she's most likely grown herself, but I decide to ignore her. I've got far more serious problems to deal with than old ladies.