2 kids

Airport moods.

Alex.

Overpacking is supposed to be a sign of anxiety. In that case I suppose it does not only explain a lot about me, but overall proves it runs in our family.

"Why can't I come with you?" Sarah asks, sitting on my bed and holding her favourite teddy bear.

"You'd be bored."

"But you said you also have some time off."

And now how do you tell a little kid what people your age do when they have time off?

"Look," I kneel in front of her. "One day, I'm going to take you with me, I promise. But not now."

She pouts and frowns. She looks too adorable, and I almost give in. I know she'd be crying in two days, saying she misses mum and wants her. I can't keep my sister entertained for ten days straight when I've got a planned schedule and wicked intentions with Ashley. Some things just cannot be put together.

"But-"

"I promise, Sarah."

I beg the universe to prevent her tears from streaming down her cheeks, and so I turn around before she can say try to bargain again or start to bail her eyes out.

I'm saved by the front door opening, and a 'I'm home' resonating through the whole apartment. There's a three second silence before something heavy is dropped to the floor. A short wave of 'hi's' follows.

Ace pops his head into my room. An excited grin plastered on his face; his caramel brown hair unusually wavy.

"What have you done to my little flower?" He kneels in front of Sarah, and she throws her hands around his neck. She can bribe Ace to her side, but even that won't give her mum's permission.

I give him a warning glance, but he just grins wider, while rubbing Sarah's back. God, how he pisses me off sometimes.

She throws me under the bus with no hesitation, "Alex doesn't want to take me to LA with you guys."

He looks at me and this time I smirk, the smirk turning a smile smile. I really want to see him give her a valid explanation.

For a second I can see the thought formation in his mind, then he just softly smiles at her. "We're going there because of our band. We'd love to have you with us, but we wouldn't be able to play with you."

"Not even Ashley?" Ace shakes his head. "Ciara?" Another negative shake. "But he told mum you'll have some free time too."

I finish packing the last items while enjoying Ace's despair. "Not enough to play with you." At least he's not trying to sugar-coat it with white lies. Sometimes white lies are necessary to be fed to young kids. But Sarah and Jake have never been fed white lies by us.

"Sarah," I say. She looks at me, with what seems to be anger in her eyes. I've never seen this kind of anger, somehow real and mature, flash in those emerald-green eyes of hers. "You can't be mad at us now."

She is quiet. Just looking at me.

"Mum wouldn't let you go anyway."

This seems to bring some sense to her. Sense in the form of the feared tears. Oh damn.

Ace looks at me with confusion in his eyes, unsure what to do now. To be honest, I'm not sure if my six year old sister won't push me away. "Baby, I'm sorry, I really am, but this is really not the right time."

I put my hand on her leg and slowly caress it. She looks at me with tears streaming down her face. I hate seeing her sad and upset. It breaks my heart. And I hate it when I can't do anything about it.