2 kids

Twillingt dance.

Ashley.

My heart skips a few beats.

And then sinks completely. Hits the bottom and refuses to swim back to the surface.

"Because I still fucking love you," he walks closer. Almost closing the distance between us. "I've loved you since the first day I saw you. Since you spilled that damn coffee on me, you've been all I could think about. I fell for you when you looked so confused searching for that bathroom. God, I still remember that day. The little black dress you wore, that teased and provoked me."

Another step closer to me, and I back one away.

No, I remind myself. Stand your ground, don't fall for his tricks again.

"I wanted to push you against that wall that night, and kiss you so much. Rip the dress to shreds and show you how you should be treated. But I let you walk away, knowing the damage I could do to you. You have no idea what you've been doing to me. I have loved you ever since. Fallen for you only more and more every time we met. I tried to stay away from you, tried to keep my distance. But fuck it, I can't. I can't stay away from you."

Something in my chest falls for his words. My heart skips another beat, and I worry it will never catch back to the rhythm it had before.

"I know what a fucking asshole I've been. I know what I did was fucking wrong, and I know nothing in this world can excuse my actions. My decisions. But if I have to beg for your forgiveness until my last breath, I will. I'll fight for another chance to show you that I mean my words."

He let me believe I had the upper hand for a second. Angered me so much I spoke nothing but the plain dark truth weighing me down. Now I'm pressed against the wall, almost, and I never really had the upper hand.

"Nothing can apologise for what I did to you, and I fucking regret it every single day. I regretted it the second you turned around and walked out. And I wanted nothing but to pull me close to me again and never let you go. But I had to. And I know it doesn't excuse it, but I would have hurt you a million times more if I hadn't let you go that day. It fucking broke me seeing you leave, and it fucking broke me seeing you picking up the broken pieces again. Creating a new life for yourself, one without me, when I was struggling getting out of bed and living without you."

"I'm a bastard, I know. I played you, and I fucking regret it. I started a game that got out of control, and in the end I was the one who got played. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I've done. I've done more wrong in my life than right, hurt you more than I wanted. More than I ever should have. But I haven't started a single game this time. I didn't even dare to try. I couldn't bear the thought of the damage I could cause you."

A single tear runs down his cheek as she pushes me up against the wall completely. Yet his hands remain hanging by his side, curled in fists.

And I'm reminded of the demons he's always carried everywhere around with him. The demons he befriended and shouldn't have.

"If I could, I would take that day back. I would never let you walk out that door, never let you go through that heartbreak. Not because of me."

I want to interrupt him, but I can't. Anger is still boiling in my veins, yet my heart's longing for him. Even after a confession filled with anger, he's the one I need.

"I'm fucking in love with you Ashley Levine." The faint ghost of a smile appears on his face. "And you have no idea how much. You're my fucking drug, my salvation. The only reason I get up in the morning. You're everything I need in life."

I start to cry again. Tears mixed with anger and love, forgiveness. His words... they hit right where they should have. Directly in my heart, where he aimed them.