stefanielle/marina one-shots

growing our family

carina pov:
It had been one week since maya had a miscarriage. I woke to soft sobs coming from beside me. I looked at the clock and it was about 5 am.

I carefully sat up and pulled maya close to me and just held her. She startled a bit becuase she hadn't noticed I was awake. "Shhh, it's okay, i've got you" I whispered to her as she melted into my touch.

"You don't have to stay awake, you need your sleep too" she choked out in between the sobs that were growing louder. "No, bambina, we are going through this together. You don't ever need to worry about waking me up. I am here for you, and i'm not leaving".

After another 30 minutes her cries started to taper off while i'm still holding her. "What are you thinking about, bella?" I ask quietly as I turn her chin towards me and wipe her cheeks with my free hand.

"I know it's not my fault that we lost our baby, but part of me won't give that up" she quietly responds. "I want you to listen to me bambina" I say as I look into her eyes. "It is not your fault. at all. You didn't do anything that could've hurt or put our bambino at risk. I don't know exactly what you are feeling but I want you to know that it will be okay, it is not your fault, and I love you so much, okay?" I continue.

"Thank you so much carina, you always know what to say" she replies before hugging me. "How about we get some more sleep before we get up for the day" I say as she pulls away. This was the first night we have almost gotten a full night of sleep.

I prob up the pillows so i'm slightly sitting up and able to let maya rest on me. I know she wants to be close and I will do whatever she needs. I pull her body into mine, rest her back on my front, and her head under mine. "Sleep bambina, i've got you" I whisper.

I make sure she is asleep before I even close my eyes. I hate that she feels like this is her fault and I want to make sure she knows I don't blame her at all.

•••

We are both able to get a couple more hours of sleep before we start to surface and wake up for the day. We both were able to get some time off of work so we don't have to worry about any of that yet.

"Do you want to get up and eat a little something?" I ask before playing with her hair, something we both find comforting, and I end up doing without even noticing.

"I'm not very hungry" she replies while shuffling under the covers. "Okay, but can you try to drink a small smoothie or some gatorade?" I ask. "I'll try" she responded. "Thank you, I just don't want you to get dehydrated" I say as I start to get up.

"Noo, can we cuddle for longer please?" maya asks as she holds her arms open. "Of course, tesoro" I respond before climbing back in bed.

"I'm sorry i'm being so clingy" maya says before pulling away a bit. "Don't apologize, you are completely fine and I love cuddling with you" I reply before pulling her closer.

After 20 minutes we both decide to get somewhat ready for the day so we hopefully feel a bit better and then move to the couch.

We slowly move through our routine and make our way to the kitchen before I make a small breakfast and get maya some gatorade.

After a bit we end up on the couch with maya basically laying on top of me and the tv on.

Not too much later as my eyes are getting heavy I hear maya start to cry and I look down to see tears streaming down her cheeks. "Hey bambina, shhh it's okay" I whisper before rubbing her back trying to give her some comfort.

I can tell her mind is running so I try to distract her as best I can. "Bella, look at me. Eyes on me, okay?" I said before putting my hands on her cheeks to force her to look at me. I demonstrated my breathing to try to get her to copy it.

She was still crying pretty heavily and all of a sudden she put her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom. I followed her and pulled her hair back before she released the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

"It's okay bella, get it out" I said as I rubbed her back and she coughed a few times. She sat down on the cold tile with her back against the wall.

"Can you shower with me?" maya asks after about 20 minutes of us sitting on the bathroom floor. "Of course bambina, come here" she said as we stood up and I turned on the water.

I helped her over to the shower and got undressed quickly. I could tell maya was pretty weak so I let her lean against me as I helped her undress.

I slowly pulled her shirt over her head and discarded of it on the floor. I untied her sweatpants and pulled them to the floor with her underwear. I held her for a few more minutes as the water heated up. I placed soft kisses on her shoulders and exposed chest.

We climbed into the shower and I rested her body on mine while I washed her hair and then my own. I washed her body next trying to give her as much love and tenderness as possible making sure to completely focus on her.

Once we finished I rinsed out her hair and we climbed out of the shower. I grabbed a towel and helped her dry off her body before grabbing another to dry mine.

I sat her on the counter and quickly walked to our room to get us some clean clothes. I grabbed some shorts and a sweatshirt for me and my hoodie and some sweats for maya. I got back to the bathroom and helped her get dressed before dressing myself and hanging out towels to dry.

While she was still sitting in the counter I decided to braid her hair. I know she loves it when I do that and it she won't have to worry about it for a few days.

"I'm sorry I can't do anything. You don't need to take care of me" maya said as she looked at me apologetically. I know she is very independent and wants to do everything on her own but sometimes she needs more than what she can do for herself and I want to be the one to do that for her. "You don't need to apologize bella, I love taking care of you. We and especially you are going through something really hard right now and you just need some extra love, and I am always willing to give that to you" I say back trying to reassure her that she shouldn't worry.

"Also bella I want you to eat and drink a little something so you don't get dehydrated or low blood sugar. I know your stomach is bothering you so it doesn't have to be much but what about a piece of toast?" I say as I finish braiding her hair. "That sound okay, I guess" she replies as we leave the bathroom.

I make her some toast and give her more gatorade to hopefully keep her hydrated. We continue to stay in each others embrace throughout the day moving from the couch and back to our bed, just taking the time to process what happened and be with each other in the moment.

a/n: I wanted to keep this in carina's pov because I didn't want to write anything wrong from maya's pov, or too much about what she was feeling relating to the miscarriage. If I wrong something wrong or anything else lmk and I will fix it. Hope you enjoy.