Twisted wonderland x OP Reader

(I'm sorry to do this) Announcement

Genuinely never thought I'd do this but here I am, making an announcement. Wow.

*Clears throat* Hello, ladies, gentlemen and all the non-conforming folks. I've been keeping this on hold for a while, haven't I? Do y'all really like this story? Your opinion is important to me.

It's been a while and between all this, I've had my birthday on September 29 so I'm now 17. I managed to gain a year... So why was I away for so long? I consider this long since I've started this story by posting a chapter almost everyday but now...

Let me explain myself. I actually have depression, anxiety and I've been struggling with procrastination and a lack of motivation. Everytime I tried to write, my mind would lock and I'd just lose my ambition. Even when I suddenly felt like writing, extern things would stop me. That was at first.

I then had to travel to Canada for college and I was super happy. It meant more inspiration and freedom from my parents, they are very oppressing especially my father, and my mother is bipolar and would go from uncaring to getting mad over weird things. Anyway, fast forward during the trip. I was with my cousin, our flights were late, everything was messed up, they lost our luggages, we missed our bus etc. 

Got a taxi in the end but we had to call our siblings and it was another mess. Finally we settled with our cousin in law but we couldn't contact him, dude was asleep. In a swirling messed up time, we got separated, I was so tired, some of my things like my laptop got stolen... When I finally got with my sister, she let me use one of her computers but apparently she was still on it.

I am pansexual, poly, aroaceflux and genderfluid so I use He/She/They as pronouns. But I'm closeted so nobody irl knows, but I am myself on the net so... My dumbass unfortunately left a site with my pronouns and sexual orientation, plus some LGBTQ entertainment. Needlesss to say, she found out and told my dad.

Traveled back home for my study license since I'm from the states, not a Canadian citizen. I got scolded ✨ good ✨. By his words, "I am letting weird things get to my head and I don't like being a woman." I'm genderfluid, sir, that's different but he doesn't know that. Inexperimented, he just thought I said I was bi so he was asking agressively "You're bi?! You're bi?!" So I answered "No" which is not a lie because I'm pan.

It's the fact that he doesn't give a f about the bad polygamy in Guinea when a broke and irresponsible man marries multiple women as trophy and they don't work but just have his babies. He once said if some people don't want to get married, he doesn't care. But since I'm "a woman and his little daughter", I don't think being poly, being aroace will be acceptable.

Anyways, got beaten up real good, it's been more than a week now and the pain is finally starting to subside but I can still feel it when the parts he hit are touched. I had marks but they disappeared so at least he didn't leave scars this time. Technology got banned so I didn't have my phone and I couldn't even turn on the TV. I also can't stay in my room before 5pm so I have to stay outside and I can't take naps because that's part of the punishment. That is totally unfair considering that him and my other sister always stay in their rooms, plus I have migraines but I can't rest it off but he takes naps everyday.

Mom got notified too, she's in France right now so thank God she wasn't present. I genuinely thought she'd yell but we didn't speak right away so I think she calmed down, that's why she only told me to not let anything influence me and just always be myself... Well, mom, I'm queer. Oh, excuse me, that's not what you meant, of course not. You meant I have to fit the image you have in mind, to be straight, perfect so people think you are perfect by instance.

From that perspective, marrying a man and having his children makes me want to puke. Maybe it's the repulsion in me speaking. Honestly, I don't even think I want to ever get pregnant, I'd rather maybe have children in other ways.

I was kinda proud of myself for not crying once during this all though. Physical, emotional, psychological pain... Sadness, depression, self-deprecation and suicidal thoughts... I got inspiration from those at least, for sad things but inspiration is inspiration. I was wondering why I was not crying. Had I become too numb or is it because I knew that would happen? I don't know. Lectures, talks or speeches they would give me only exasperated me though. I just agreed because I had to but I didn't like it.

Paps also wanted me to watch the movie "The royal treatment" then discuss it with him so I was apprehensive cause I knew there was a catch but I surprisingly didn't hate the movie, I was especially happy to see Laura Marano from "Austin & Ally" and Mena Massoud from "Aladdin" since I remember them. I think it was about being yourself and not let bad people influence you wrongly... My dad dared compare those bad influences to the medias that "try to make me think I'm gay but I can't actually be gay". Papa... The guy who made the speech about not letting bad influence get to you, Walter, is literally gay!!! He has a male lover, so of the same gender, named Richard! I even cooed at the end when they got reunited. I so wanted to tell him how stupid his analysis was and roll my eyes but I controlled myself and just nodded.

College here started so I go until having my permit and proving myself to my folks then I'll be able to travel again. Fortunately, the university where I study has everything on the net and in chats so I convinced dad to give me back my phone. But they erased every social medias and downloads. Like come on, TikTok is funny sometimes and I need Netflix. Discord and Twitch, longing... Twitter though... I guess it's fair to cross an X over it😅. What hurt me though is how they deleted my Lumity pictures because they're both women. Luz and Amity are literally the best couple, and they're so healthy. How dare you take my goddesses from me, plus my beloved Lumity edits from TikTok? They haven't found everything though so I still have compilations.

By the way...

University is actually pretty good, I'm trying not to struggle with my ADHD though, it happened but it's not really bad. Well, I was doing good and today was such a great day but... Depression unfortunately came crashing back down on me. I think when I have to wait and there is nothing to distract me while I'm just doing nothing, it gives my brain the opportunity to think about everything bad. We did a workshop and I participated the most, it was so fun. At the end of it all, I was waiting for my suit and little by little started sinking. I first went indifferent then I hurt more and more until the tears just came out. I don't know why. Is this just how depression works? Why do I randomly suddenly get sad like that? It's the first time I cried since everything. And I thought I was doing such a great job... I hid my face, only a staff lady noticed my crying so she comforted me. She thought it was about the suit not fitting since I'm plus size but it wasn't. I couldn't talk at the moment though so I just let her think that. She's been nice and all so I eventually calmed down and went home more drained than I thought I would when this day started.

Good now. I have tons of ideas and scenarios, I just gotta figure out how to incorporate everything in place to keep a good story. I really want to continue my stories but I haven't played TW in a while with everything I just said and I now have school 5 days a week plus homeworks and obligatory projects I have to decide on and do. What is even MOOC again?! Just to say that this story shall continue but it's probably gonna be slow. I'm sorry if I make you wait.

I'm really glad if people are actually liking this story and feeling invested in it. I read every comment so if you ever have any feedback or suggestions, don't hesitate. Again thank you for reading my story. You probably don't know but it really makes me feel happy and good, it makes my heart beat better.