love while locked up.

give me things to think about. 🤔

Janet Jackson

After that kiss emotions ran through my body.
Toni opened her eyes finally and smiled at me, then brought me closer to her.

"Toni-" I began to say until she put her finger on my lip and silenced me. "I know this is a lot for you to take in, but I'm not like them other niggas. I genuinely care and love you, and I don't use that word unless I mean it. I know you still have a situation at home, and I totally get how this decision can be hard for you. If you want me to back off just say the word, and we can go back to friends." Toni said looking down at me.

"I-I Don't know." I said pulling away and walking off the dance floor. Not caring if I made a scene. I need time...my heart says yes but my brain says be cautious.

I walked outside of the venue and just stood there. Having flashbacks of when my family died, when I met Alex and she told me she loved me, and then when I met Toni and she said the same.

I just can't stop believing that everyone is the same.

I heard footsteps expecting it was Toni, but actually it was Ms. Evelyn.

"I'm not coming out here to give you an lecture on how great my daughter can be for you. But I do wanna tell you a story...and a bit of advice afterward.
__________________________________
1975...
"Momma, I don't have time for dancing. I need to get my grades up." I said to my mother "Eve,  I want you to pursue school of course but you and your friends are so talented. I don't want that talent to go to waste." She said patting my back and then putting my school bag on. "I'll see you later mom. I'll let you know when I get back home." I said to her and then walked out the door and now scanning for Kat.

As I walked, I saw no Kat. I began to worry. Until
"Boo!" I jumped. "You scared me Kat." I laughed.

"So eve, what do you say? I think it'sa great idea, maybe our mommas are right. We can be something big." She said budding my shoulder.

I smiled.

"Kat, we're only 10 years old. Who's possibly gonna want us on their stage." I said and she smiled "Eve, we're amazing. I have so much faith. It's all in gods have as our mothers say."

That whole entire day, i thought and thought. And then I finally came to the conclusion that I wanted to do it. But here's how.

"Katherine Scruse to the front office, I repeat Katherine Scruse to the front office." The intercom buzzed.

She looked at me and shrugged and made her way to the front office. Shorty after they called my name.

When I went to the front office I seen...my crying mother, a shaking Katherine and the principal trying to console my mother.

I walked in and before anyone could talk I started to think about the worst things imaginable...

"What-what happened?" I asked as my body overwhelmed with fear.

"Katherine's Mother...she's dead." Principle Martin said to me and I immediately ran to Kat's side and it felt like all her pain was shifted to me. I then devoted myself to make her dream and our mothers dream come true.

And then a few years later, when we got recognition, and Tina joined our group your mother was afraid of love...does that remind you of someone? But when she met Joe, your father. Her smile finally came back...and when she had you and all of your siblings her life was complete. But me and Tina...we still wanted to push. And we damn sure made it. Kat never knew her father, but good thing she found a good man right away he knew how important being in his children's life was.
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"So Janet, you and your mother are more alike than you think...and I want you to know that I'll always love you, as if you were my child. No need to have that feeling anymore. I'm here, Tina is here, and so is Toni. But it's all up to you." Ms E said looking me in my eyes and hugged me.

I looked up into the sky and held my hand across my chest. "I love you mother." I said and then walked back into the venue.

Ms E looked up at me and I winked to assure her that I was good. Toni was sitting down at the table by herself tapping her wine glass. She lifted her head up "Oh Janet, I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you please can we be frien-" I cut her off by kissing her lips once again.

"Toni, I love you too." She said smiling at me and Toni hugged me tightly. I looked over Toni's shoulder and there was Ms E smiling.

"I think it's time you take me home now." I say grabbing her hands and walking in front of her swaying my hips. I waved goodbye to Ms E and we made it to the car.

"I know your thinking, don't worry. You told me that you'll be here for me no matter what. I got this decision to make and I'm not running away. Now take my home." She said and I laughed.

"Okay okay, no need to be so pushy." I chuckled and started route to her house.

After dropping Janet off and Alex staring me down like she was gonna do something I left and headed to my house.  Same ole same ole. No one to sleep with on this expensive ass furniture, and it's not that I can't have anyone, it's just that I don't want ANYONE, I want THE ONE. And Janet is giving me that seriously, she's really amazing. And like I promised I'll give her that space and time she needs but I won't give up faith that one day she'll be my wife and mother of my children.

Amen, Hallelujah, Thank you Jesus, Won't he do it, ain't he good, Praise him! 😮‍💨😂

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