love while locked up.

promise

Janet Jackson

I woke up in the best of mood until I turned around to see Alex laying next to me. I rolled my eyes already knowing that when she wakes up she's gonna be on bullshit.

I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I stumbled and knocked over a framed picture of me and Alex and she shot up from out of bed.

"Sorry to wake you." I said blankly "Look at me Jan." I turned to face her "Why do you always push me away. All I ever do is try and love you. I want the world for us, kids and a bright future. Your my heart, my forever." She said to me for the millionth time. I turned back around and rolled my eyes. I've heard this so many times before usually it works, but not this time.

"Alex, I'm tired of your washed up ass emotions. You don't give a damn about me anymore. Every-time you feel like your losing me or I'm slipping away that's when you wanna try and win me back. But it should never get to that point. You know that's not right. But what I'm saying isn't gonna go through your thick ass skull. I'm tired of your shit Alex! Get the fuck out my house!" I screamed and pointed to the door

Alex stared at me, her face was unrecognisable. She slowly rises from the bed and walks to me... she cocks her hand back and slaps me. "All the shit I helped your depressed, sorry ass with. You will never disrespect me, after everything I've done for you." She said to me sternly. This bitch then lost her mind. Quickly i raised my fist and hit her right in the eye. She screamed in pain "Bitch don't you ever fucking put your hands on me!" I screamed and as you can guess. We began fighting.

We were rolling all across the floor fighting, throwing jabs at each other. I finally pinned her down to the floor by grabbing her neck. "You've got thirty seconds to get out of my house or I'm calling the police. And if you try me again ima knock yo ass unconscious and give you another black eye. Ya feel me? Get the fuck out." I let her go and with tears in her eye because the other one was shut closed she left putting her middle finger up at me. "Fuck you Janet." She screamed before exiting my humble abode.

I started to pick up the mess we made and threw it into the trash. I was thinking about calling Toni over, but I think I might just need time to myself right now. 

I laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling. "Alexa play smooth jazz." There was no lyrics that I was aware of that could relate to how I was feeling. Overwhelmed once again.

My phone chimed, it was Alex "I'll come collect my things Monday." I just liked the message. I then checked to see if Toni texted me, and she did. "Just checking up on you. Hope your day is going well" I think i will just like her message as well, so she knows I'm alive.

Finally I dozed off...
__________________________________

"Janet my dear"
I heard someone call my name, but I couldn't open my eyes.
"Janet you can do it baby, open your eyes."
I tried and I tried and once I did...I was amazed

It was a vision of when I was a small small baby something I couldn't even remember. I seen my brother's playing outside but I didn't see Randy or Joseph. I decided to walk into the house and I could even smell chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven. I embraced the smell, and walked through the short hallway looking to see if I could spot Randy.

And then...it was him play fighting with me in mother's arms. I was a giggling mess, I smiled at the sight. Then the words I heard earlier were said again, but this time I could see her. "Janet my dear" I had closed my eyes the baby me and the older me. "Janet you can do it baby open your eyes" it sounded like two voices said it at the same time. I opened my eye and there they were, an older Randy & and a older mother.

"Hey JJ" Randy hugged me and I felt it! I felt my body tense up. I couldn't bring myself to talk. "Randy back up off her, you know this is new." Mother said to him and he backed up with a chuckle. "Janet me and Randy just wanted to visit you. And I only wanna give you a sentence or two of advice.

But before that I want you to always know, when Eve tells you can trust her trust me you can. she's like my sister. But here's my advice to you baby. "Take some time to know yourself, and always you have to be fully present wherever you are mentally and physically because you can sign up to something you might not wanna be in. Also you are a beautiful and smart woman Janet. You deserve everything you want so don't let anyone! give you anything bellow your standards. I know when we left you it shattered your heart, but everything happens for a reason. God loves you Janet. You are forever protected."

I gave Mother a nod and said "I will live life to the fullest. I love you and the rest of our family so much, can you tell them that for me?" I asked and her and Randy smiled. "Dunk, we know how much you love us. We are watching over you, everyday! And I want to make this promise to you. Every night you feel like you can't take it, or your about to lose your mind. Guess who'll be here.

"Every single one of you." I smiled

"See you soon Janet" Mother said to me and Randy waved as the walked out of the room...then

*Deebee Deebee" ( that's my alarm clock sound don't laugh. 🤭)

I woke up in a great mood of course.

"Damn, I didn't know i slept that long. Time to go to work." I got up and did my morning routine.

Today, should be pretty chill. I am still overwhelmed about the Alex situation. But, mother told me life goes on. I will allow real love in my life from now on. I'm not taking anything less than myself, I'm doing me."

🏃🏽‍♀️...vote 😮‍💨
took my 3 days to finish this itty bitty ass chapter because im a procrastinator. & then when i see notifications that like other writers just posting chapters & chapters back to back i be like "damn jus damn" LMFAOO 😭😂