My darkest desire

1

Porchay's POV
I regret it.
I regret flushing my future down the drain just for stupid puppy love. But was it just some puppy love....maybe... Maybe not. But still what was I thinking he is not worth it. But now I am afraid I don't know how to talk to hia, he will be so disappointed in me but still I should tell him and ask for his forgiveness and talk to him about what I wanna do in future.

I would like to study abroad, I want a new start, I want to rebuild myself and change my image from a gullible and naive little boy to a strong man.

Here goes nothing as I am standing outside phi kinn and hia's office. I knock on the door and he asks me to enter

Porsche: Hi chay! How are you? Wasn't your result for your uni admission supposed to come today?

Porchay: Hia I have a confession to make. You can get angry at me but please try and understand me first.

Porsche: Chay I would never be disappointed in you. You are my little brother. Please share with me chay, what is it?

Porchay: Hia I didn't sit for my university interview. I am really sorry Hia please forgive me

Porsche: WHAT? WHY CHAY ANSWER ME

Porchay: Hia I got overwhelmed with all the things that were going on in the house and with you. I know I made a huge mistake and I disappointed you and made a reckless decision. I am sorry hia, I really am and now I realise the gravity of my mistake but please forgive your nong hia.

Porsche: Chay come here (Porsche hugged porchay) I am not disappointed in you . Hia is also sorry. I know it is also my mistake that I got you involved in all this and it is ok I am happy you realised your mistake. That is all that matters. As for your university, I think kinn can do something.

Kinn: Ahh yess I can easily get him another interview if he would like.

Porsche: Would you like that chay?

Porchay: Hia, Pkinn can I ask both of you for something

Kinn: of course nong. Whatever it is we can arrange it for you.

Porchay: Can I study abroad, maybe in the  USA?

Porsche: Hell no, I am not letting you out of my sight!

Kinn: Love listen to chay first and then decide.

Porchay: Hia, I feel very lost here, I don't know where I belong, I want to make my own identity and be able to stand on my feet and become strong, I am really tired of being this naive little chay that you all know and treat.

Porsche: But you can build your image here also. What is wrong with this place that you wanna go so far?

Porchay: Please try and understand hia I am an adult and I have thought about my decision, please let me write my future myself, I love you hia and your yes holds a lot of importance for me.

Porsche: Chay... Can I first think about this and then we talk again please.

Porchay: Sure hia take your time but please be confident in me and be considerate about your decision.

Porsche's POV
I can't wrap my head around what just happened right now. My brother didn't go for his interview and he wants to study abroad. He feels like he doesn't belong here. But he does, this is his home I am here.What else does he need.

Kinn: Love what are you thinking?

Porsche: Kinn, this is his home, I am here what else does he need

Kinn: An identity

Porsche: What do you mean? His identity is my brother.

Kinn: Exactly. He needs his own name, he doesn't just want to be known as Porsche's little brother but rather wants his own recognition.

Kinn: Love it is not easy to step in the mafia world and he was just thrown in it against his will and that too at such a young age. It is normal for him to be overwhelmed. You should also understand him, he is not a kid anymore, he is a grown up. It is not wrong for him to seek his own path. It's not like he will be gone forever it's just for his education. He confided in you cause he knows you are with him and you want the best for him, he has faith in you. Please have a little faith in him also.

Porsche: I guess you are right... Aghhhhhh..... When did my brother get so big and wisdomous.

Kinn: I guess you didn't notice as you were too wrapped around me to see😉😏( Porsche slapped kinn on his back for his little comment)