My darkest desire

25

Author's POV
As Chay stepped inside the Kittisawasd house, he could not think of anything, he felt so fucking exhausted. All he wanted to do was take a hot shower to cool his aching muscles and drift off to sleep. So that is what he did.

After getting the much needed rest for a few hours, he got up and made himself some food. A simple omelette and rice. Even if he did not eat the food at Kim's house he did peak at the dining table, and seeing the same dish that he made for kim, sitting there made his heart giddy as well as ache at the same time. So to relish and comfort himself he also ate the same thing, thinking that maybe on the other side Kim also did end up eating the same food. It made him feel a little at peace.

Chay doesn't know what to think of the situation that happened the night before. He is just utterly confused. It's not like he is disgusted in what took place the other night. He did enjoy it very much, he wanted it just as much as the older. It's just he couldn't ever take the initiative himself. He is angry, but also confused, he doesn't know what to make of the situation, he doesn't know whether he is angry with himself for liking what happened or with the older to not take his consent, and to practically force himself on Chay.

Chay kept racking his brain all night overthinking about the situation, to make some sense of the circumstances. But a whole night of constant and agonizing thinking , all he got was a sleepless night and a huge headache. So Chay concluded that not every situation needs an answer, sometimes one should let go of everything and just live.

So in the morning Chay called his brother for a leave making up some excuse to concentrate on his music which was actually not a lie, maybe half truth. He indeed needed to give time to his music, cause ever since Chay returned he hasn't been able to concentrate on it. It's been months since he wrote something new. He really needs to put his head in his music.

The next few weeks of Chay's life was a constant circle, going to the studio, working on his music, coming home watching television eating and sleeping with some visits to different places with one of his good friends, Chen. After all he could not possibly ignore him, he was in town for only a few months. He had told Chen about him and Kim having sex, obviously leaving the part where Kim practically forced him to fuck, but somethings should not be disclosed, should they? In the first place he did not want to tell him about the sex at all but when Chen practically could see his lips all bruised and his neck full of artful hickeys, how could he lie. He could've told him that it was some casual hook-up, but he did see Kim drag Chay out of the club, and he was not that dumb either.

Speaking of Kim, well he hasn't seen him in these weeks at all. And it felt agonizing to not see him. All Chay could think of, was those lucious lips, that perfect body and oh that godly dick. He wanted Kim to fuck him senseless again. He had come to a conclusion that he did enjoy every fucking minute of that sinful night. How Kim cuffed him, the ungodly things that Kim did to his body, he wants it again, all of it and...maybe.........more even.

But still he knew that he was not ready to handle the older. He was not ready for a conversation that would take place between them, or how would they act with each other. Will they talk about what happened or will they pretend it didn't happen? Chay doesn't want to pretend it didn't happen, it was a priceless memory for him. He really isn't ready to face Kim................. At least not right now.........

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Author's Note

I am sooo sorry for going awol for so many days. It's just I had a major writer's block plus I have been focusing on making my portfolio to apply for my master's program. But I swear I am not abandoning you all and this story.

Anyways enjoy this chapter.💜💕💕💕