My darkest desire

32

Author's Note
IMPORTANT!!!
I urge all of you to read chapter 13 before reading this as to refresh your memories cause both of these chapters are interlinked, and if you don't read that chapter you might feel a little lost
ENJOY!!
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Kim felt as if he was dreaming. Porchay slept peacefully on Kim's chest, his head tucked into the crook of Kim's shoulder and hair. Their legs intertwine under the covers like sheets of grass growing in a row. If this were real life, not just a dream, it would be one of the best moments of his life.

Porchay had all of his innocence intact; Kim could see his boy with all his enthusiasm shining through again after so many years. It was like watching the sun come up for the first time in years, like discovering ice cream and cinnamon rolls at the same time. As Porchay slurred in his sleep, Kim came out of his trance. "How was your sleep Nong Chay" he asked kissing the boy's forehead. "What time is it Pkim", asked Porchay rubbing the sleep off of his eyes. "About 9:00 a.m" replied Kim looking at the clock on his bedside table. "SHIT PKIM, get up we have office today" Porchay screamed, getting abruptly off of the bed and putting his clothes on. "ahh let's just stay in bed no, Porchay. You know have some fun" came the whiney noise of the elder. "Come on Pkim, we have a lot to discuss, after your little stunt with Ren, I mean what the fuck were you thinking killing the youngest son of the Yakuza clan, this is a big fuck up PKim"- Porchay accused the elder. Kim growled as he got up from bed and pinned Porchay on the wall-"NOBODY MESSES WITH WHAT IS MINE. HE WAS MESSING WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE MINE PORCHAY, HE KIDNAPPED YOU, SO I KILLED HIM." Porchay took a deep breath before facing the elder in the eye-"I am not accusing you PKim, but you know this is not a small matter, they will try to get revenge. they surely would've gotten the news about this, we have to come up with some game plan before they strike". Kim let go of Porchay, getting the sense of the situation he had put his whole family in. He is well aware that the Yakuza's are not the one to be fucked with-"I suppose you are right Porchay, but what do you propose we do". "Meet me at the office in an hour, we'll discuss it there, and no matter what Kim, Hia and Pkinn should not get this news, or we are dead". "I suppose you are right". With that Porchay left Kim in his now empty apartment to contemplate his actions.

Porchay stared at the figure in his doorway. Porchay was peacefully sitting in his office chair looking through some documents when his door swung to reveal a tall, broad man with a hard face and dangerous eyes. He wore a white silk shirt that clung to his muscles with three open buttons to reveal an outstanding chest; the shirt was paired with black slacks that fit over his hips and thighs like a glove. Kim's clothing was tailor-made and clearly of the finest quality; he was surely dressed to impress today. Porchay ogled the older man as he entered the room, taking one long look from top to bottom. "I suppose you haven't had any breakfast yet," Kim said as he held up a cold coffee and a box full of English breakfast inside. Porchay was delighted by this gesture, cause he had forgotten the concept of breakfast and was really very hungry. "Thanks, you made it yourself"? - asked Porchay digging in his breakfast. And boy oh boy was it tasty, Kim really is a good cook, Porchay thought as a slight nod and a heart throbbing smirk came from Kim. Porchay ate in silence and utter delight as Kim sat on the opposite side of the desk, keeping an eye on him.

"Before we start out making a plan I really think that I should complete the whole story, that you quite rudely interrupted last night"- Porchay spoke keeping a straight face.Kim smiled "I thought you quite liked my interruption"-Kim rose his eyebrow, as if challenging Porchay to disaggree.Porchay looked up and had to concede defeat; it was true that he did enjoy last night. His face flushed red with embarrassment at Kim's attempt to annoy him."Let's just start, I have a lot of work and not a whole day to tell you this story"- Kim was quite impressed to see that Porchay still got flustered by Kim's comments. "Not everything has changed"- Kim thought.

Kim knew what was coming when he heard the name 'Sinaloa Cartel of Mexico'; he could feel a deep dread filling the room. "Before I tell you about Ren," Porchay began, though Kim already knew this portion of the story, "you should know what happened in New York". Kim motioned for him to continue with a gesture and listened as Porchay recounted every gory detail from his third year of college, making Kim's stomach churn. When he finished, Kim rose from his seat and pulled Porchay up to stand next to him before leading them both to the sofa, and sat down with their hands intertwined.

"Ren was the one responsible for my kidnapping. It had been almost a year since our break-up when Ren unexpectedly showed up in one of my classes. His presence caused all the guilt I'd felt about our relationship to come rushing back. However, instead of being angry or avoiding me, he greeted me with that devilish smile that had previously drawn me to him. He met me like an old friend maybe even more, there was no malice, nothing at all.We started hooking up again, but this time it was different, I was different, you know more attentive and less of a dick. While we weren't officially together, it felt like we were exclusive".

"One day, he asked me to come to his appartment, he knew I wont take my bodyguards there. We were having sex when he whispered into my ear, 'Porchay how can you be so naive to come in bed with your ex' and after that he injected something in my neck and I blacked out. I awoke in a dingy basement facing Ismael and Ren. Through Ren, Ismael kept an eye on me until he found the perfect moment to make his move". Porchay let out a humourless chuckle before continuing. "The minute I let my guard down, he seized the opportunity. That's when I found out who Ren really is. Ismael asked him to torture me, but I saw it in Ren's eyes that he couldn't do it; he was too cowardly for anything more, so Ismael took over and - well, you know the rest." Kim was left speechless by Porchay's story, feeling pain deep inside himself for his Chay. The only thing Kim wanted now was to take Porchay away from all this and live in a sweet paradise. But he knows, they both are too involved to get out.

Porchay inched closer to Kim until their knees were touching, and sighed heavily before he spoke again. "I was so angry at myself - my naivety got the best of me yet again. No matter how hard I try to change,I will always remain that old naive, idiot Porchay who again was unable to protect himself and again became a damsel in distress, helpless and in distress for Pkinn to rescue me". Kim wrapped his arms tightly around Porchay as he started to silently cry on his shoulder, breaking Kim's heart into pieces. He'd do anything to protect Porchay from harm."Porchay look at me" Kim said. "You're not helpless. You survived what could have killed someone else. And if it weren't for you, Kinn wouldn't have been able to take them alone. The first thing that Kinn told me about you when I got to know that you also joined the family business was that you are the best at shooting even better than him or me. You are as strong as any of us Porchay, always remember that".

Listening to Kim made Porchay at peace, this gave him confidence that maybe just maybe he also belongs here.