(Running behind chay)
Kim:Porchay......chay please stop...... Please listen to me chay (grabs chay's hand and pushes him towards the wall)
Kim: Chay......
Porchay: (in an irritated voice)Pkim please leave me.
Kim:(lowers his head on chay's shoulder and speaks in a low defeated voice) chay please listen to me.... I beg you please.
Porchay: Ok pkim speak. I am listening. But please leave my hand.
Kim:( leave chay's hands but still stands uncomfortably close to chay) Chay this is not your world, you are too pure for this world. This is a very twisted and fucked up world you should not make a haste decision about joining this business. You have a bright future, use that don't get involved in this fucked up world.
Porchay: What do you know about me phi.. huh... You left me broken, you don't know anything about me. Yes I used to be a fragile little chay too innocent for this world but now I am a changed man, phi. I am not an idiot I know what I am getting into and I am ready to face all the challenges. You are no one to speak in this matter. This is my birth right phi, my mother was also involved in this business and I want to uphold her legacy. I know I am more than ready to take up this challenge, I want to ease the burden on my brother's shoulders. Both hia and pkinn had done a lot for me and now it is my turn to give them back.
Kim: (mockingly) Challenge...huh... This is fucking life chay not a mario game that you get a lot of lives to complete a task. No, you only have one fucking life. This is not a fucking game that you are playing for fun. This shit is fucking serious. You are too young to understand all this chay. You should listen to me and leave this.
Porchay: Young(hysterical laugh) I am not fucking young Kimhan Theerapanyakul. Stop seeing me as a young fucking fragile chay who is like a china doll who can break at any fucking point. I am Porchay Kittisawasd- younger brother of the head of the minor family, Porsche Kittisawasd. I am more than capable of being his brother and being a part of this family. I don't need your baby sitting and I certainly don't need your advice. And listen to you, have you lost your little pea size brain. You are the last person I would listen to after what you have done to me. You broke my heart, I gave my all to you and what did you do you stomped on it like it meant nothing to you.
Kim: Porchay this is not a joke please understand you can't join this business. I can't let you, Please chay understand me(says in a defeated voice)
Porchay: Understand what phi. And why do you even care. The last time I can remember you didn't give a shit about my life or what I do. What changed suddenly why are you so determined to make me not join our business? Stop pretending that you give a shit about me, I know you don't so I suggest you........
(Kim cuts chay mid sentence and screams in his face with the following words which make chay stunned in his place)
Kim: BECAUSE IF I LET YOU GET INVOLVED IN THIS BLOODY FAMILY THEN WHAT I DID WILL ALL GO IN VAIN. DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!!
Porchay: WHAT KIM? WHAT DO I NOT UNDERSTAND? PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME WHAT WILL GO IN VAIN...HUH. MAKE ME FUCKING UNDERSTAND BECAUSE AS OF NOW I AM COMPLETELY CLUELESS AS TO WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BLOODY BRAIN.
(Kim just stares at chay without saying anything)
Porchay: KIMHAN THEERAPANYAKUL I AM ASKING YOU SOMETHING. FUCKING ANSWER ME OR I SWEAR TO GOD I.....
(Kim again cuts chay)
Kim: LEAVING YOU. HAPPY THERE I SAID IT.
Porchay: (stuttering) I-I d-dont understand. Please answer. What do you mean by that.
Kim:(takes a deep breath) I didn't want you to get involved in this fucked up family. This is a very dark and dangerous world which is not meant for an angel like you. And when you were kidnapped... I-I got scared. I didn't want anyone to use you as my weakness. Cause even though I can tear this world with all my strength but chay... Love.... When it comes to you I will come to my knees, if it means I can assure your safety. So, I thought the best way to protect you from this cruel, black world of mine is to just walk out of your life. Even if it ripped my heart. Cause chay you are my soul and heart and I can't let anything happen to it my love.
Chay: I-I don't get it phi. What do you mean by getting your heart ripped.
Kim: DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND PORCHAY. I LOVE YOU. THERE I SAID IT. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. I AM IN LOVE WITH PORCHAY KITTISAWASD.
(Silence was all that was heard. No one is speaking anything. Air is constantly getting thicker by the minute. Too thick to even breathe properly)
Kim: Chay( calls chay very softly while gripping chay's hand softly) chay, love please say something. Anything. If you wanna slap me do it but please say something.
Porchay: (starts laughing like a mad man and his eyes go black devoid of any emotion making kim very scared and suddenly yanks his hand away from the older one) Protect me. Are you for real pkim. (Air quotes) The famous Kimhan Theerapanyakul who is supposed to be the most intelligent member of this clan is bloody stupid when it comes to love. Ohh poor phi what will people say if they know that you are in love with a little boy(chay mocks kim). You will be the laughing stock of the town phi. Protecting MY FOOT. DON'T YOU GET IT, I AM A PART OF THIS FUCKED UP FAMILY REGARDLESS YOU ARE WITH ME OR NOT. MY BROTHER IS YOUR BROTHER'S FUCKING BOYFRIEND AND THE HEAD OF THE FUCKING MINOR FAMILY. SO IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER YOU ARE WITH ME OR NOT. JUST FOR YOUR FUCKING EGO SATISFACTION AND INSECURITIES YOU STOMPED ON MY HEART. YOU REJECTED ME SO BRUTALLY. JUST TO PROTECT ME PHYSICALLY YOU TORE ME TO PIECES EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY. YOU COULD'VE COME AND TALKED TO ME BUT NOO. WHY? CAUSE IT WOULD HURT YOUR FUCKING MOON SIZED EGO. I FUCKING BLAMED ME, THAT HOW CAN I BE SO NAIVE TO HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH MY IDOL. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER. I CONSTANTLY DEGRADED ME, I CHANGED MY FUCKING PERSONALITY, MY LIFESTYLE, MY EVERYTHING JUST TO GET OVER YOU, AND WHAT I GET TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE JUST A FUCKING DUMBHEAD.YOU KNOW IF YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BY MY SIDE THINGS WOULD'VE BEEN MUCH BETTER. I HAD TO ENDURE SHIT THAT MADE ME WHO I AM RIGHT NOW AND IF YOU WERE BY MY SIDE THAN MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PROTECT ME, BUT INSTEAD YOU CHOSE TO BE A COWARD. YOU BROKE ME PHI YOU FUCKING BROKE ME.
(Porchay takes kim's hand in his hand and places it on his own heart and speaks in a very low voice which could barely be heard by kim) you broke this phi and I failed to repair it phi.....
(With that porchay left a stunned kim in his own thoughts and went to his room and locked himself and shrunk to the ground and started crying while clutching his heart for dear life.)
YOU ARE READING
My darkest desire
FanfictionThis story is set after the events of kinnporsche. How does Porchay cope up with his heartache and what decisions does he make to get his life together, does kim regret his decision to leave chay and if yes will he try to win his love back WILL Kim...
