My darkest desire

9

Porchay's POV
Chay.....

I heard Kim say my name as I passed him without even sparing a 2nd glance towards him. I didn't even look towards him, cause if I did maybe I would've cried seeing those eyes. So the best thing that I could do is leave him there and ignore his voice that kept calling me and sit in my car to drive to cau's. My brain became hazy with all those memories that we had all those years back. What a loser I am, I had promised myself that he is a chapter that I have closed for good but as soon as I saw him it came crashing. But I can't let my heart be played again. No matter how strong I become, I still have a very fragile heart. I had a lot of flings in the states, even had a few girlfriends as well as boyfriends here and there. Once when I was in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years after coming from a wild party all drunk, instead of saying his name, kim came into my mind, he plagued my memories as I came deep inside my then boyfriend all I could say was kim's name as his face was the only thing that I saw, that was the day that I knew that I couldn't get that man out of my heart no matter how much he wronged me. So I swore off relationships and started having flings. But all this doesn't matter, no matter what happens he and I can never happen.... Not again.

Kim's POV
Chay........

I called him with a longing in my voice, but he didn't even glance at me, instead he just went out of the house and got in his car and swerved out the gate. And I was just stuck at my place too stunned to process what just happened. All I wanted to ask was how he was doing, was he happy. I just wanted two minutes of his time but I was not even given that and frankly I know I don't deserve even that but a man could wish. He looked so different, his aura was strong and looked so different yet so similar. He has gotten muscular over the years. Even in those clothes I can clearly see how chiseled his body is How I want to touch him, kiss him till his lips swell, lick his whole body and suck him till he gets dry. To fuck him mercilessly yet lovingly while he calls my name with desperation written all over his face. How I want him to crave my touch. But I can't, the only thing I can do is to see him from the shadows and make sure that he is safe and happy.
I wanted to go after him but I don't know why I couldn't, I just stood there frozen for a few minutes before kinn came and shook me out of my thoughts.
Kinn: Earth to kim....

Kim: Huh.. oh Kinn what are you doing here?

Kinn: That should be my question. You never come unless it is very important. Is everything alright.

Kim: Oh yeah... It's just... Yeah I had to collect something from Pol nothing much.

Kinn: Hun you could've called, someone could've sent it to your place.

Kim: I was running some errands, so I thought I would collect it on the way. Don't mind me and answer me, I just saw Porchay going somewhere. He came back?

Kinn: Oh yeah, honestly no one knew he was coming except for Macau. He was the one who fetched him from the airport.

Kim: Ohh(a little sad). So, for how many days has he come?

Kinn: Oh he has permanently shifted here, actually he was supposed to come last year only but he extended his stay there for his career but now he is here for good. In fact right now he has gone with Macau to look for spaces for his own studio.

Kim: Oh I see, does he want any help with that I know some good places?

Kinn: Do you just wanna help him or do you wanna get him back?

Kim: Why would I wanna get him back, I just wanted to help

Kinn: I don't think so, kim I can see it in your eyes how much you love chay. We lost you all these years and the minute you got to know chay is back you left everything and came here I can see the longing you have for chay in your eyes. I know you have wronged him in the past, frankly I don't think he would forgive you but I still think if you really do love him I suggest you drop your godforsaken act and start making some right decisions.

Kim: It's not like that kinn

Kinn: I don't know why you think being apart from him can do good to both of you cause I know you both still love each other. I saw him yesterday all I could see in his eyes was a kid looking for candy no matter how he presented himself to us on the exterior. You are his candy kim. No matter how dangerous that candy becomes for him, he will still choose to eat it every single day. So stop lying to yourself kim
(Saying that kinn left, leaving kim to ponder in his thoughts)

Kim's POV
As I flopped on my bed after coming home all I could think about was what kinn said. Was he really looking for me. Me being his candy, is it true. But why would he still love me, today I saw it in his eyes- all the hatred that was filled in them for me. Chay hates me why would he still love me, all I have given him is pain and sorrow so why would he still love me. Even though I hate myself, how can that pure soul love me?

Chay's POV
I HATE HIM, I HATE YOU KIM.(I screamed on top of my lungs while I drove to Macau's house). Why did I have to see his face this early in the morning. I was so happy to go see some spaces for my studio and he ruined my mood. What was he doing there so early in the morning. Surely he came for some work, I mean what else could it have been. He surely didn't come to see me, why would he. He was just shocked to see me after so many years that is why he called me and for no other reason. It's not like somebody called him and he left all his precious work just to see me this early in the morning.
(Author's comment: Aww somebody tell poor chay that is what kim exactly did🌝)
Stop thinking about him, chay. Just leave him and lift up your mood. He is insignificant insolent and should not be thought about.

Author's POV
Both hearts longing for each other, intertwined with their own heartaches, making there minds go haywire. What will the future hold for these two lost soul. Will Kim realise his mistake? Will Chay forgive Kim? Will they ever become two bodies, one soul? Only time will tell...........