Silver Eyes

Shift

A/N: I still don't like this chapter... I broke the first chapter in two and tried to cut out some of the unnecessary parts, but it's still a little choppy and weird... 

The funeral was the next day and I was still a mess from the crying when my mother's teal '97 Sunfire shuttered to a halt on the dull grey gravel of the funeral home parking lot. My mom was naturally a 'jerky' driver, a trait I was likely to inherit, but this time it was because her brakes were going. She cursed before we got out and were met with cold rain. We went up to the dark wooden door quickly to avoid the rain so the outside of the old building was a blur of bricks and windows to me. When we stepped into the warm, bright hallway, the sickening smell of flowers and powder met my nose and I subconsciously clenched my jaw muscles. The smell would probably be forever associated with the experience and I remember looking up to see the somber faces of two of my friends; Cassidie and Milo. They were alone and their parents must have been standing in amongst the various relatives and friends and school officials including the principal and several familiar teachers who all crowded the rooms.

My mother was greeted impassively by Alex's mother and she greeted me as well with puffy eyes and a tear-stained, weary face. I just nodded back, not able to find my voice. Milo sat with his slim arms around his girlfriend, whose head was bowed with a box of tissues between her legs and a tissue held up to her leaking eyes and nose. Cassidie's body shook slightly while she cried as if the tears were making their way from her heart all the way to where they poured out of her eyes. I could hear her soft sobs over the hushed conversations of the adults. As my mom moved off towards a group of parents she knew, I stared through the slowly moving shapes of people and my feet seemed to get stuck to the disgusting pink carpet. I made the decision to approach the open casket, knowing my reaction wouldn't be good. Part of me wanted to see him and the other part knew it would be disastrous. Suddenly, I felt someone's arms around me, bringing back memories of Alex and making hope burst from my heart with one last heavy beat. I inhaled as I turned around and Damien pulled me away from the casket, before I could lay eyes on my dead boyfriend.

"You don't want to be doing that, mate." Damien told me grimly, as he guided me to the sofa where Milo and Cassidie sat. The hope left, leaving an even more immediate pain in its place. I was never going to feel Alex's arms around me ever again. Renewed tears came to my eyes as I collapsed next to them and felt the tears run down my face. I barely saw Scarlet come over through my blurry eyes, but I felt her hold my hand tightly. At the time I thought it was my tear that fell onto my hand, but I realized later that it must've been Scarlet's.

"It's okay." They kept saying, but I knew it wasn't true. They said it as if they were trying to convince themselves that an unstoppable force could be stopped. I cried myself to sleep on Damien's shoulder and woke with a crick in my neck.

"Sorry," I mumbled to him as I straightened up and hugged myself tightly, to keep from falling apart.

"It's okay," he whispered quietly. Then, people started leaving and my mom came over and held out a hand to me.

Soon, we were standing in the rain in the grave yard. Scarlet pulled me under the umbrella that Damien held over their heads and my skin felt cold in the frigid spring rain. My stomach dropped when I looked down into the grave that had been dug. Tears streaked down my face and mingled with the rain as they fell from my face. I was dizzy, when they lowered the casket and the short burial felt rushed. I hadn't heard a single word they said and after it was over, I felt regret wash over me as cold as ice. I hadn't said anything... I hadn't come up with anything and his family hadn't asked for me to say anything. I should've said something. He was important to me. I was broken without him and would miss him forever.