The next day - after two very cold meals, boring grammar-focused books, and a chilly night - the children woke up to Aunt Josephine entering their bedroom.
"Children, hurry up and get dressed." exclaimed Aunt Josephine.
"Why, what's wrong?" asked Violet, getting out of bed.
"We need to go shopping." the woman explained.
"Why so early in the morning?" asked Klaus.
"No, no," Aunt Josephine shook her head. "'Why are we going shopping so early in the morning?'."
"Why are we going shopping so early in the morning?" asked Klaus, repeating the 'grammatically correct' version of his previous question.
"Hurricane Herman is slowly coming towards Lake Lachrymose, and we need food and supplies!" exclaimed Aunt Josephine.
About half an hour later, the children arrived at the small market near Aunt Josephine's house.
"Children, go and find the safe limes whilst I get some safe fruit!" called Aunt Josephine.
"Safe fruit." repeated Rowan as the two elder Baudelaires chuckled and the youngest Baudelaire smiled.
Violet went to get some 'safe limes', but bumped into a man.
"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, whilst Rowan and Klaus exchanged terrified glances.
Violet looked up at the man. He had a wooden peg leg instead of his left leg, a blue suit, a white beard, an eyepatch, and a sailor's hat.
The man was none other than Count Olaf.
"That is absolutely fine." said the man, a sinister man on his face.
"O-" began Rowan.
"I hear," Count Olaf said in a terrible, deep voice. "that you are with a new guardian. I was terribly sad to hear about the death of Dr. Micheal Montacute."
"How do you know about our past?" asked Violet challengingly. "You wouldn't know unless you had seen us before, as, say a guardian or an assistant. Also, it is Montgomery Montgomery."
Count Olaf smiled and held out a newspaper.
Violet looked at it. A picture of her, Klaus, Sunny, and Rowan was on the front page with the headline, 'ORPHANS FINALLY SAFE AT LAKE LACHRYMOSE'.
She began to read aloud. "'Above: Orphans sitting at Damocles Dock. Four orphans - Ronan White, Veronica Baudelaire, Klyde Baudelaire, and Susie Baudelaire - are finally safe and sound at Lake Lachrymose. The Baudelaires' fourth guardian - after Beatrice and Bertrand Baudelaire, Count Omar, and'..." Violet trailed off and sighed. "I can see that you are Count Olaf."
"Would you, by any chance, know where your guardian is?" asked Count Olaf.
"We will no-" began Klaus.
"Children!" called Aunt Josephine, walking towards them. "Oh, children! Don't talk to strangers!"
"We're sor-" began Rowan, but was cut off by Count Olaf.
"I am so sorry, Madam, for talking to your lovely children. The eldest, here," he gestured to Violet. "just carelessly bumped into me."
Aunt Josephine gasped. "Violet!"
"It was an accident." exclaimed Violet. "Besides, this man is Count Olaf."
"Count Olaf!" Aunt Josephine shouted, turning around as a few people in the market began to look at her. "Why would you bring up such a terrifying person?"
Klaus rolled his eyes. "Because he is here!"
"Don't be silly, Klaus." Aunt Josephine said with a wave of her hand. She turned to Count Olaf and smiled. "I am terribly sorry about my children. They are nice, but forget themselves sometimes."
"It's the tragic experiences of orphans." Count Olaf nodded.
"How do you know that the children are orphans?" questioned Aunt Josephine with a raised eyebrow.
"I read about them in The Daily Punctilio." Count Olaf said, clearing his throat. "I am Captain Sham, and my home is the sea."
"It isn't." said Violet.
Count Olaf - or Captain Sham - sighed. "It's a large lake."
"Stop being ridiculous." Klaus said.
"My home is near a large lake."
"That's not we mean, and you know it." exclaimed Rowan.
"Well, it is nice to meet you," smiled Aunt Josephine. "My name is Josephine Anwhistle."
Count Olaf smiled. "Well, I must be going now." he said in a fake sad voice.
Aunt Josephine looked at him. "Me too!" she exclaimed like it was a massive coincidence.
The two adults said goodbye, the children glaring at Olaf the entire time, before leaving.
As they exited the market, Aunt Josephine sighed. "What a nice man."
YOU ARE READING
Baudelaires and a White
Fanfiction"I think we should do it." said Rowan quietly as the man opened the door. "Okay." said Violet. "But who are you?" gasped Isadora, sliding into the taxi. The man took a breath. "My name is Lemony Snicket, and I am here to take you away." Would the s...
