The next day, all four of the children woke up to Count Olaf's ear-piercing clock.
"I've had an amazing idea." Violet told them all before breakfast.
"What?" asked the other three.
"Well, Mr. Poe said that if we have any problems," Violet began.
"We can speak to him!" Klaus finished. "Violet, you're brilliant!"
Violet grinned. "The phone is broken and I don't think I'll be able to fix it - it would take too long anyway - but Mulctuary Money Management isn't far away at all. In fact, it's only three roads away from here. We can walk!"
"That's a great idea!" said Rowan. "Let's do it now!"
Soon, they were outside Mr. Poe's office, Rowan knocking on the door.
"Must you come in now?" Mr. Poe's muffled voice said. "I'm busy."
"It's Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. And our friend Rowan." responded Klaus.
"Oh, come in, come in."
"You can't let us stay with Count Olaf!" Violet said, getting straight to the point.
"I can, I put you in his care." said Mr. Poe, confused.
"He gave us one bed!" Klaus exclaimed.
"I gave you one bed." responded Mr. Poe.
"His rooms are filthy!" Rowan added.
"That's not his fault." responded Mr. Poe.
"He calls us orphans!" cried Violet.
"Violet, dear, you are orphans."
"He threatened to bruise Rowan!" yelled Klaus.
"Now, now, Klaus, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding."
"He has terrible friends." Rowan added.
"I have terrible friends." chuckled Mr. Poe.
"H-he slapped Klaus across the face!" shouted Violet, infuriated that Mr. Poe did not care.
"Look, children, have you heard of the phrase 'in loco parentis'?" asked Mr. Poe.
"It sounds Latin." observed Klaus.
"It is Latin. 'Acting in the role of parent'." said Mr. Poe. "Count Olaf is not your parent. However, he is acting in the role of parent. He may raise you as he wishes."
"But he can't slap Klaus!" yelled Violet, shocked.
The phone rang.
"Oh, excuse me, children." Mr. Poe chuckled, picking up the phone. "Hello, Mr. Tamerlane. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Goodbye, Mr. Tamerlane. Where were we? Oh yes, Count Omar."
"Olaf." corrected Rowan.
"Look, I am afraid I must usher you out post haste. Post haste means..." Mr. Poe started.
"You'll do nothing to help us." finished Violet. "Come on."
And all four orphans stormed out of the room.
When they arrived at Olaf's house, they heard his voice speaking into a phone. "What? Yes. Oh, really. Yes. Yes. Well, I don't have much money, you see, but with the White Fortune and the Baudelaire Fortune, we can fix that. May only be used until they come of age. I know. No, I did not. I would never. Yes. Thank you, Mr. Toe. Mr. Doe. Poe, Poe."
"Um, hel-." Violet began.
"Hello, hello, hello, children." Count Olaf turned to them, a wicked grin spreading across his dirty face.
"Hello, Count Olaf," said Rowan.
"Listen to me, children. Take a seat, take a seat." The four children sat down at the dining table. "I just received a call from Banker Man."
"I'm sorry Mr. Poe bothered you." Violet said politely.
"I am glad he did, orphans." said Count Olaf. "I am glad he did." He produced some porridge with raspberries in them, four steaming bowls. "Eat!" he said.
The children, feeling threatened, ate.
"I am afraid I may have acted a bit standoffish." said Count Olaf, using the word incorrectly. "So, I have decided to let you participate in my next play. It is called The Marvellous Marriage. By Al Funcoot."
"Okay." Klaus said. "What roles do we have?"
"Sunny, Klaus, and Rowan will be playing as three people watching the marriage."
"What will I do?" asked Violet. "Build the sets?"
"No, no. Violet, Violet, Violet, a pretty girl like you shouldn't work behind the scenes." Count Olaf said.
"I-I'd like to though." responded the girl.
"You will be playing the young woman," he said. "that I marry."
Violet gasped.
"Of course, it is only for theatrical purposes." smirked Count Olaf, and walked off.
"What's his plan?" asked Violet.
"I don't know yet, but something wicked," said Klaus.
"He could take you behind the stage and kill you," suggested Rowan. "Then, he could threaten Klaus by saying the same would happen to Sunny if he doesn't hand over the fortune."
"Maybe," said Violet. "But I would think he would want me alive. After all, I'm the eldest. If he killed Klaus and Sunny, he would only have to wait four years until the fortune may be used. If he killed Sunny and I, he would have to wait six years. And if he killed Klaus and I, he would have to wait seventeen years."
"He could kill Sunny, and threaten you, Violet, by saying if you don't hand over the fortune, the same will happen to Klaus. If you do, then he'll keep you alive, threaten me by saying if I don't give over the White Fortune, he'll kill both of you. And if I give over my fortune, he'll kill us all." said Rowan. "And if you don't give over the Baudelaire Fortune, then he'll kill Klaus and lock us up until we give over the money."
"That's not a bad idea," said Violet, nodding. "Although I hope it's not the case."
"Hopefully none of us get killed," said Klaus.
"Hopefully." echoed Rowan and Violet.
YOU ARE READING
Baudelaires and a White
Fanfiction"I think we should do it." said Rowan quietly as the man opened the door. "Okay." said Violet. "But who are you?" gasped Isadora, sliding into the taxi. The man took a breath. "My name is Lemony Snicket, and I am here to take you away." Would the s...
