As soon as Mr. Poe entered the chilly, dangerous house, the children began to cry almost immediately. The unhelpful banker, however, did not do a very good job of comforting the poor orphans, and insisted on seeing the note after a matter of seconds.
They reached the library, and Klaus picked up the note and read it out to Mr. Poe, making sure to point out the suspicious grammatical errors.
"Why, Klaus," exclaimed Mr. Poe. "I'm surprised at you. A boy your age should know that grammatical errors don't always mean everything!"
Klaus sighed and looked at his older sister. Mr. Poe often talked like this, making the childrens' points seem utterly worthless. Klaus pointed to the word 'it's' and attempted to back up his point.
"Yes, they don't always mean everything, but in this case, they do. See here, it says 'it's' with an apostrophe, as in 'it is'. You wouldn't say 'my life will be at it is end.'."
"Yes, but that still doesn't prove anything." countered Mr. Poe.
"Well, Aunt Josephine loved grammar." Violet said, helping her brother. "She said it was the greatest joy in life."
"Her library is full of nothing but grammar books." added Klaus. "Just look!"
"If someone made the smallest error, she would correct them." Rowan said.
"Obsessed!" shrieked Sunny.
"Okay, okay," Mr. Poe took his hat off and placed it on the table, watching as it shifted slightly in the strong wind. "I do understand your points. However, forgery is a serious charge. I think we should compare the note to Josephine's shopping list. Does that sounds like a good idea?"
The children glanced at each other and nodded, surprised that the banker was capable of clever ideas.
"Look, children!" Mr. Poe exclaimed when he and the children began to compare the two pieces of paper. "The handwriting matches exactly."
Violet exchanged a nervous look with Klaus.
"Oh!" Mr. Poe kept exclaiming happily as he noticed another similarity. "The 'V' in 'Violet' matches the 'V' in 'Vinegar'! And the 'S' in 'Sunny' matches the many 's's in 'I don't think shopping is safe'."
"You do have a point." Rowan nodded sadly. "So that would mean that Aunt Jose-" Rowan began.
"Oh!" exclaimed Mr. Poe again. "Look at the 'd' in dowager! It matches the 'd' in-"
"Yes." Klaus nodded in an attempt to get Mr. Poe to stop exclaiming out the similarities. "We understand."
"But that means," Violet paused as she blinked to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. "That Aunt Josephine really did jump out of a window."
Mr. Poe shook his head and looked at the children. "Look at the bright side! You will be staying with a lovely new guardian!"
"Oh, who?" asked Rowan, thinking that they might be as nice as Monty.
"The one written in the note, of course!" said Mr. Poe. "We must respect Josephine's will."
"No, Mr. Poe." said Violet at once.
"You can't let us stay with him." Rowan shouted.
"He is Count Olaf in disguise." finished Klaus.
"Klaus, don't be silly," Mr. Poe said. "The man mentioned in the note was Captain Sham."
"Mr. Poe." began Klaus, trying to speak as politely as possible. "He is in disguise, so he changed his name to Captain Sham."
"But this 'Captain Sham' man is apparently - according to a rushed discussion on the phone - a sailboat rental agent and citizen, and Count Olaf is an actor and a criminal." Mr. Poe explained carefully as if Klaus was five, obviously not understanding the act of being in disguise.
Rowan pointed this out. "Mr. Poe, that's how being in disguise works." he said saltily.
Mr. Poe nodded, still quite oblivious. "Anyway, let's not hesitate! What time is it? 11:00. Time for brunch then. Hurry up, children."
"Brunch?" repeated Klaus.
"Yes, brunch. It's a meal that you eat-" Mr. Poe began to explain.
"Yes, we know what it means, we just didn't know that we were having brunch." Rowan explained politely.
"Oh, yes! At the Anxious Clown restaurant, with Captain Sham! Won't that be exciting? A meal with your new guardian!" Mr. Poe said excitedly.
"Lovely." Violet, Klaus, and Rowan all unenthusiastically chorused at once.
YOU ARE READING
Baudelaires and a White
Fanfiction"I think we should do it." said Rowan quietly as the man opened the door. "Okay." said Violet. "But who are you?" gasped Isadora, sliding into the taxi. The man took a breath. "My name is Lemony Snicket, and I am here to take you away." Would the s...
