LES DÉSCENDANTS

Chapter 3: J'essaierai (I Will Try)

Enjolras and I slowly made our way back into the hospital and into one of the spare rooms, but not before we walked past a nurse helping a student from a neighboring barricade as he choked on his own blood.

Enjolras paled, and quickly slammed the door to our room. We tried to lay down, staring at the ceiling as we feared what would come to us in our sleep.

As the sun rose onto a new France, June 7, 1832, we were passed out from exhaustion, drowning in nightmares, rewatching our worst memories play out over, and over, and over, and over...

It was Vaillante, my right-hand leader from Marseilles, who roused me from these terrors, and I gasped, clawing, as she held me steady.

"Elena. The children are here."

"Just call me Avenir," I grumbled, finally conscious of where I was, slamming my hat on my head and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Av, they've been asking about you. I have heard you plan to have a meeting at the Musain tonight, to get us up to speed."

I touched her arm. "While I praise the stars you are safe, we have seen such horrors...the children do not need to hear that."

"The children are prepared to fight."

"No-one is fighting anymore."

"Think again; the National Guard imprisoned three more students this morning."

I winced, turning to Enjolras, who was twitching in his sleep.

Enjolras always rose with the sun. Today was different.

"A moment," I said, and as she left the room, I gently shook Enjolras. He immediately snapped awake, eyes wild and lashing out. I laid a gentle hand on his cheek, and the moment he felt it, he flinched, then his eyes refocused, and he bowed his head, his heart still racing from fear.

"Enjolras..." I said, gently tucking a stray lock behind his ear.

"Don't-" he said, quickly moving my hand away, though lightly. I pulled back, eyes searching, and it seemed frustration overcame him. "Avenir, I...I had a dream you and Grantaire were shot by firing squad, I cannot simply just..." and he gestured his hand into the air.

I paused, my heart breaking. "Of course, monsieur...you are not the only one with such dreams," I muttered, turning away. He quickly got up, running a hand frustratedly through his hair, and I caught a faint tremor in his hand as he hurriedly fixed his cravat.

"I apologize," he said.

"You don't think it's odd for me, too, Aurélien? To touch you after seeing you brainwashed by those monsters, after you tried to..."

"ENOUGH."

I huffed. "Ignoring it only makes it worse, Enjolras, I should know. I shouldn't be the only one wanting to talk about this." And I left the room.

He joined us for breakfast two minutes later, his eyes unfocused, and not saying a word the entire time. Gavroche and Courfeyrac were going back to Courfeyrac and Marius's apartment today, which meant Javert was the only one staying in the hospital. All of the other Amis were recovering at home, with personal nurses. Combeferre, in a bit of graphic detail, was describing the sickness Feuilly was experiencing, due to the trauma of the barricades, and Enjolras immediately stood. "There is no ABC meeting tonight."

Vaillante stood. "Monsieur, I -"

But Enjolras was already gone, striding down the hallway toward the rooms. I heard a door slam in the distance, and stared at a spot on the floor.

Vail looked at me oddly "He-"

"Can you imagine?" I asked, not looking at anyone. "The survivor's guilt? With other men, from other barricades, gone, or currently fighting for their lives in these very halls?"