Tormented Rescue (Ninjago Fanfiction)

Part 7

TW: (mention of) injuries

When Kai woke up, he was alone. At first, he panicked, but then he saw the light coming in through the gaps in his curtains and let himself relax.

That was the first proper sleep he'd gotten in a while, and it made him somehow more tired than he had been last night.

He closed his eyes to think. He remembered that he had woken up in the middle of the night because of a flashback, and how Lloyd had comforted him. It made Kai smile to remember that, it felt so nice to finally be home.

Oh my god, wait. Kai instantly sat up.

He had hurt Lloyd. Oh my god, he had hurt Lloyd.

He got out of bed, changed out of his pyjamas, and fixed his hair. He went out of his room and looked for the others, but they weren't outside, nor in the living room. He was starting to panic, when finally, he looked in the kitchen and found Cole.

"Hey Cole," Kai said from the doorway, pretending like he hadn't panicked at all. Cole jumped a little but then saw Kai.

"Oh, hey Kai, you slept in quite late, you feeling ok?" He asked, continuing to do the dishes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I think sleeping in made me more tired than I was before, hah," Kai answered, leaning on the door frame.

"Definitely get that, how about your, uhm, cuts-- and-- stuff...?" Cole asked hesitantly, obviously worried about bringing it up.

Kai had gotten so used to the pain that he'd almost forgotten they were there. But he knew if he told Cole that, he'd be far more concerned than Kai wanted anyone to be at the moment.

"Uh well, I guess they hurt? Not-- not much any more... although thinking about it makes it worse," Kai said looking down at his wrist, the word scarred on his arm forever seemed to sear through the bandages.

"Oh, sorry then..." Cole quickly replied.

After an unbearable awkward pause, Kai finally spoke up.

"Where-- where are the others, by the way?"

"They're downstairs, and actually, I just remembered, Master Wu wanted to talk to you, you should go to his room first," Cole said looking over his shoulder.

"Oh, ok, sure, thanks," Kai stepped away towards Wu's room.

Kai paused in front of Wu's door, almost scared about what Wu would want to talk about, but knocked on the door.

Knock knock

"Come in," Wu answered from behind the door. Kai opened it slightly and peered in. Wu was seemingly in the middle of reorganizing some scrolls. He gave a glance over his shoulder and smiled at Kai. "Kai! Good morning, come in and sit down, I want to talk to you," He gestured with his head to the mat in the centre of the room. Kai sat himself down on the mat and played with his fingers.

"What did you want to talk with me about?" Kai prompted after a minute. Wu finished placing a scroll and shuffled over to sit opposite Kai.

"Well, I think you can guess, but I want to talk about what happened, as well as... before, what happened." Kai had almost forgotten why he got out of bed so suddenly.

"Right." Kai looked down at his feet. He felt so incredibly guilty about everything, but he didn't know how to put it into words.

"Listen, I want to preface all of this by saying that no one expects you to tell anyone anything. We're not going to pry and get you to confess to anything, but you do have to understand that for the correct charges to be placed, you're going to have to tell the police-- well, maybe not everything --but enough for them to work with." Wu explained. Kai looked up with a plain expression. "But, if you do want to talk about things, Kai, we're all here for you, with open ears and arms." Wu gave Kai a warm smile, it made him feel ten times better.

"Yeah, ok..." Kai answered. "Thank you," He smiled back.

"We also understand that it's not going to be easy for you to adjust back into real life, if you even will. Nya says you're a good actor and will pretend everything is fine when it's not, and I get it, Kai, I do, I really do, but again, it's very important for you to be honest with yourself and to us right now. We want to help you recover, and the only way we can do that is if you let us, y'know?" Wu spoke in a soft, caring voice, and Kai felt himself relax and feel... Well, he didn't know what this feeling was. It was like love, the kind he had for Nya, but, not?

Along with the new emotion, he felt his eyes sting.

He nodded and looked down to hide his glistening eyes. Wu took a deep breath and leaned back.

"So, having said all that, how are you? How do you feel? Is there anything you feel that you need?" Wu asked cautiously. Kai thought for a while, rocking himself back and forth while trying to think up the right words.

God, how am I? I have no idea-- why do I have no idea? I should know how I'm feeling, why don't I know what I'm feeling!?

Multiple times Kai attempted to speak but whatever he planned to say just didn't feel right. Eventually, he took a deep breath in.

"Sensei, you want me to be honest, and my honest answer is-- I don't know." Kai's voice broke, he looked up at Wu with his teary eyes. Wu observed Kai. "I-- I know I'm not numb, I do feel something, its-- it's like-- sadness but...? I-- I feel cheated? I'm angry-- I think? I also feel kind of... guilty? I..." Kai sighed.

Wu slowly nodded.

"Despite your emotions not making sense, it makes sense as to why they do not. You're conflicted because each emotion is as strong as the other, and they all want to be felt. You're angry at the injustice, you're sad at the pain, guilty at... well, I'm assuming, what happened beforehand?" Wu prompted. Kai twiddled his thumbs and nodded slightly. Wu's expression became sorrowful. "I'll make it clear, we-- we feel guilty at teaming up against you like we did, I especially because it was mostly my fault that the argument even happened, not to mention the way I yelled at you..." Wu shook his head. "I'm truly sorry, Kai, even in the whole situation, I had no right to lash out the way I did," Wu said solemnly.

The tears in Kai's eyes became more threatening.

"No, sensei, no... I..." Kai hesitated. "I was wrong. I knew I was even then. But-- I-- I felt so guilty that I hadn't listened when I knew I should've, and before I knew it I was knee-deep arguing about something where there was nothing to argue about and I didn't want to just-- start crying, I would've looked so stupid and immature. I was-- I swear I was about to just walk away from it, even with my urge to shout, I promise you--" Kai wiped his tears. "I was going to walk away... but then... I--" Kai sobbed. He hated to cry again but his guilt had taken over his heart.

Wu watched with a heavy heart, knowing how Kai felt. He made his way across the mat and placed his hand on Kai's arm.

"It's ok, I promise you that no one blames you, especially Lloyd. He said he could see it in your eyes that you weren't arguing with us, but yourself." Kai thought about that, letting Wu bring his arms away from his face.

'You weren't arguing with us, but yourself.' How did he...? How could Lloyd see that?

"He also mentioned that he thinks something was bothering you, because, in his words, 'his anger issues have never caused that much trouble for him or us'" This made Kai glance up. "Was there... something bothering you? Before all of this?" Wu leaned forward closer to Kai. Kai closed his eyes. That was something he definitely didn't want to bring up, even if Wu was probably the person he'd go to first.

Not right now, Kai thought, although he couldn't think of another time when he would want to talk about it.

Kai shook his head.

"I... it doesn't matter..." Wu deflated a little, but, as he said he wouldn't, didn't pry.

"Ok. If you say so. Now, I don't want too much heavy talk at a time, I think you agree, so why don't we go downstairs to the others?" Wu suggested. Kai dried his eyes and nodded, looking up with a small smile. He appreciated just how much sensei got him, even in his weird emotional-mess state.

Wu quickly piled up the rest of the scrolls still scattered on the floor into the corner, and he and Kai made their way downstairs.