Lost Love

Chapter 22

"Holly. I.."

It was safe to say Leah was speechless. To be honest, I don't know what I wanted her to say. I'm sorry? It wouldn't mean anything to me now. I trusted her, let her back into my life for her to cheat.

"It's not what it looks like." Leah said, almost begging me to believe. "Is it not? What is it then?" I could feel the anger boiling up inside me, near its breaking point. In the meantime, Leah sat there quiet. She had no excuses. "I thought more of you Leah. I really did. Now, go enjoy Lucy, who you obviously loved instead of me." "Don't go Holly. Please..." I slammed the door behind me, and instantly broke down. I just about made it to my car before the shaking began. I managed to ring Beth, who didn't pick up. I rang Chloe and Keira. No answer. My emotions were all over the place, I don't know to handle them properly. Leah or Beth always helped me. But now I have neither. No one cares enough. I reached my apartment and knew what I had to do. It was a short walk from the front door to the bathroom. My actions felt like deja vu. I took a quick glance at the pills, then looked at myself. 'Look at you. You are worthless. Nobody actually cares. Why do you think both Leah and Lucy cheated? Because you're not worth it. You never have been, never will be. Just do it. It'll be better for everyone else.' The voices in my head never quietened, if anything only got louder. I took one last look in the mirror, before taking the pills into my mouth. I could hear a muted banging at the front door but I couldn't care. I just let myself drift.

I woke up in the hospital once again. Jill was sat next to the bed, which did surprise me. Not as surprising as the fact I woke up. "Hi Holls. How you feeling?" Jill spoke, in a very hushed voice. I threw her a questioning look, wondering why she was here. "I can see you're confused. So I was round at Ellens and had started to drive home when I saw you driving home crying. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and now I'm glad I did. They said if I hadn't found you, that you would be gone." I just cried. Jill held me until the doctors came back in. "So Holly, from your record, this isn't the first time this has happened. We're going to put you in touch with some people that can help. I'll give you their personal details." I nodded, not wanting to speak. We were interrupted by Beth bursting through the door. "Hol! Come here." She embraced me in a very tight hug. "It's okay. I'm here now." She whispered.

I don't really know what to think. I'm happy to see both Beth and Jill but I really wanted it to work this time. Badly. Beth brought me home and made sure I kept the papers from the hospital. "You want to talk to me about what happened?" She squeezed me one last time and then stepped back, allowing me to talk. "Leah cheated on me... With Lucy."I watched Beth's expressions change from compassionate to stunned, taking everything in for a minute. "How did you find out?" I pulled up the picture of the two of them. Beth's face dropped once more. Like she was reading my mind, she said, "You don't deserve this. You are so loved by all of us. Leah doesn't know what she's lost okay? We've got you."

I went to sleep soon after, taken away from my thoughts for a while. Was I the fool for letting this happen again? I know what I needed to do.

I woke up and took action. I pulled ip my contacts and rang one. Jonas.

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Long time no update sorry😭This one was touchy again but I promise they'll start to get less depressing