Gods & Monsters by Lana Del Rey
Minor TW for talks about attempt of SH! (it has something to do with sand but I'll bold it just in case!)
Ayato POV.
The guilt is eating me alive.
It never came to me that Y/N could ever be in danger after I brought us back alive. Her being in any danger is my fault. I am the cause of the danger that is waiting for her in the near future and that very thought is more than just a furrow-of-eyebrows kind of guilt. I brought her back alive because of my own selfishness, because I wouldn't believe that she was really... I wince at the thought and Venti sends me a weird look before I look away.
As Zhongli begins to lead the way yet again, the guilt creeps back into my heart, seeping into the cracks of my soul and settling down like dust on a mahogany bookshelf. The gravel on the floor is tempting me to throw sand in my eyes to end my burdensome frustration, or to at least... make me feel better that I'm suffering too. But, my time will come. The Divine Punishment by Celestia will be bestowed upon me so I just have to wait. I'm not looking forward to it at all but really, how bad can the pain be?
My eyes find their way to Y/N, not being able to help myself as I think about the events pertaining to last night. I could tell, that it was not love but her desires and satanical temptations that lured her to consent to what transpired. I felt no love in the arms of the only woman I've ever loved. It wasn't like the past when her eyes shone with the clusters of stars in the night sky, her cold fingertips feeling warm on my skin, and her sighs of relief not from me being close but from her reaching ecstasy. This is not like me at all. The constant comparison and irrational, emotional thoughts that drive me crazy every second. But, how can I not when... I've already had a taste of what we were? If what we could be?
The battlefield in my mind has not been put to a stop. I'm a man of many things and my head is full of endless lists of to-do's and not-to-do's, places to go, people to talk to, papers to sign, papers to look through, training dates, household events, servants' birthdays, and on and on and on. And this, is not helping at all.
We head on to a smaller opening where light shines, and Zhongli guides us to a wooden panel where the Traveller activates some sort of mechanism before it lifts us up. As my eyes gets used to the brighter scenery, my breath is taken away at the sight I'm greeted with. Rocky cliffs shaped into shards surround the Chasm, as if something sharp had plunged into the depths of the earthly soil, erupting a canon of a few thousand years old. The evening sun sets itself above the horizon, lighting the blue skies ablaze with its fiery power.
"We will set sail for Inazuma tonight. Since we have not much left to do here, I shall not waste more time than needed," I announce my plans going forward.
"Ah yes, the busy life of the one and only Yashiro Commissioner," Y/N remarks sarcastically and I can see her giggling to herself from the corner of my eye.
I don't give a response, only chuckling deeply to myself with her mischievous behaviour. She was always like that, before she became my wife, that is. When she didn't have the responsibilities I did, she would frequently tease me about how busy I was and how free she was. Although an elegant shrine maiden, I thought she resembled Itto a little with the way she behaved when no one else was around, as if life at the Grand Narukami Shrine was too restricting she just had to act out and put her good girl behaviour aside so she could make fun of me.
We step away from the wooden plank and make our way towards the harbour in the distance as the flaming evening seeps into a quiet night filled with dark clouds and stormy seas. Y/N walks beside me, and I find warmth with her company and presence, regardless of the fact that we're not alone. Or is it because we're not alone that I find comfort in the fact she chose to walk beside me?
"It might rain tonight," Venti breaks the silence and the conversation going on between the Traveller and Paimon.
"Yes, I suppose I shall have to inquire about weather conditions with Captain Beidou. After all, if the skies and seas don't allow us to make haste to Inazuma, we shall not risk it," I reply as I catch Y/N looking at me, eyes twinkling against the night sky of the golden city.
...
"Captain Beidou, how's the weather boding for us?" I walk up to the woman clad in warmer clothing from the incoming winds.
"Waves are gon' be a lil' choppy but other than stronger winds and rain, it should be alright," She gives me a reassuring nod.
I look back at the rest of the group and return her nod to them and they start boarding the ship as the Crux's crew start adjusting the ropes. I move quickly into my room, organising the documents and papers I need to look through later before I sleep. Upstairs, I hear Captain Beidou command the ship as sounds of rain spat themselves onto the wooden furnishings of the Crux.
I push the curtains of the window aside and to my surprise, we were already moving away from the harbour. The rain picks up as the people at the harbour start to run for shelter and I see people close their windows from their residencies. The sound of the sail's mast bellow against the strong winds outside and I make a reminder to myself to not go upstairs for I have absolutely no knowledge regarding nautical navigation and its pure basics.
I settle down onto my chair with a sigh, lighting up the candle as I begin to look through what I need to approve and letters needed to be read and replied to.
"Another day of overworking..." I dread as I mutter to myself.
YOU ARE READING
Deja Vu || Kamisato Ayato x Reader
Fanfiction"Gods, give me one more chance..." His hands had never gripped onto something so desperately before. The lifeless body of his beloved in his hands as the Sacred Sakura tree gleamed brightly once again in the Inazuma that used to flourish so beautifu...
