Woe it's Wenclair

Questions

Wednesday
Everything is happening so fast.

Enid looks in my eyes and I look in her beautiful blue ones. My gaze travels down to her lips. The blush on her face gets more red and her eyes flutter closed. She starts to lean in and I jump to my feet, breathing heavily. She scrambles backwards, looking upset with herself.

We stare at each other for a few moments. Tears form in her eyes.

"Shit... I'm so sorry." She mumbles, looking at the floor.

I can't think. I can't understand. My hands form fists and I feel them become clammy. I open my mouth, but I have no idea what to say.

I can't do this. I knew I couldn't. I don't do feelings. What was I thinking?

Fuck.

I turn around and walk slowly out the door and down the steps. As much as it pains me to leave Enid alone when she's upset, I have to be alone. I need time.

I try to keep my cool, to look like I know what I'm doing, but in reality, I'm a mess. I want to pound the walls and huddle in a corner because in the back of my head I know I wanted to kiss her.

It goes against everything I am. Especially after that being solidified by my only kiss being a boy who turned out to be the serial killer I was after. I've sworn to never make that mistake again, so why do I feel so horrible about it?

"Wednesday, dear? Are you alright?" My mother calls as I bound down the steps.

"I'm fine." I say, my words cutting sharper than I meant for them too.

I'm not sure what my mother says, as I'm already down the hallway, finding my room. Shutting the door, I sprint to the desk, having unpacked my things and set my typewriter there earlier today.

I load in a piece of paper and ready my hands over the keys, but my fingertips just brush over the metal.

Dr. Kinbott says I should use my writing as a way to 'let my feelings out.' I would rather torture Pugsley, but I don't have the energy for that as of this moment.

I let out a sigh and throw my head back in frustration. I'm actually starting to care for someone and I've already messed it up. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I want.

Did I want to kiss her? No, I didn't.

Yes, I did.

Fuck.

It wouldn't go nowhere, anyway. Living without Enid seems impossible, now that I know what it's like, and I know if we somehow had a relationship together, I'd mess it up. Usually I wouldn't care. I wish I didn't, but I do.

She was probably just confused. Sleep deprived. It doesn't make any sense as to why she would do what she did. I've shown time and time again that I would put her in danger for my own benefit. She's well aware.

I groan and rest my head on the desk, one hand tracing the keys, landing on certain letters.

E-n-i-d.

I let out a sigh, and feel something in my throat. I swallow but it doesn't go away. It crosses my mind to talk to my parents, but I oblige the idea immediately.

The lump in my throat gets bigger and I feel my eyes water.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Suddenly everything's crashing down on me. I care about her more than anything. I want to know everything about her. I want to keep her safe and watch her grow old. As much as it pains me to admit, I want to grow old with her. And now that I realize the depth of my feelings for her, and I know that I'll never live them through, something snaps. I will never be enough for her. It will never work.

It will never work.

"Wednesday?" My mother calls, knocking on the door.

"I don't want to talk about it." I mutter.

"Alright. You know you always can talk to me about anything?"

"Yes, mother."

As soon as I hear her footsteps getting quieter, I get up and lay in bed, in the same position I was in last night. Without thinking I begin to trace the area Enid lied in just a few hours ago.

Enid
Shit. What have I done? I thought she was okay with it, that was the signal I had intercepted, but of course I was wrong. She'd never want that.

What the hell was I thinking?

I groan and curl myself into a ball.

She's probably disgusted with me. I'm disgusted by myself. A frown fixed on my face, I pull out my phone.

Enid
Help.

Yoko
What? You ok?

Enid
No
I fucked up

Yoko
What happened

Enid
I thought we were being all flirty with each other and she's got like a hand on my waist when she never does that so I try to kiss her and then she looks at me all confused and runs away? Fuck

Yoko
Hold up
Ain't u still dating Ajax

Enid
No I broke up with him

Yoko
Cuz u were whipped for Wednesday

Enid
No
Ok yeah

Yoko
I thought so

Enid
What do I do?

Yoko
Go talk to her and then make out or som idk

Enid
Jesus Christ no

Yoko
Why not tho?

Enid
She hates me now

Yoko
She literally looked at you confused, not disgusted. The girl has never cared for someone as much as she has for you.

Enid
I wish

Yoko
You're shutting your metaphorical eyes again.

Enid
Whatever

Yoko
I'd say she's just confused with herself then
Give her time.

Enid
I guess
We just don't have much time we're leaving the cabin today and I don't know what's happening after that

Yoko
You can figure it out
I believe in you

Enid
Shut up

Yoko
Go get your girl