#45- He Sees Your Scars
Ashton: "I'm about to go out for a run, you wanna come?" Ashton leans over the couch, throwing a thumb back to the door. "Sure, just let me stretch." Standing up and raising your arms over your head, your shirt rides up some. "Are those scratches?" "What?" He points to your now covered hip and walks over. You take a step back, thinking your shirt was long enough to cover your cuts. "That mark I saw just above your hip." "It's nothing." But he doesn't believe you, taking your wrist and pulling you closer before lifting the side of your shirt enough to reveal the horizontal cuts that disappear further up your shirt. He drops it and looks at you. "Y/N, why would you do that to yourself?" You shift your weight, looking at the ground. "I've..I've been upset. The way I look, my life, just about everything. I just wanted a little relief." Ashton grabs your shoulders lightly and looks at you. "No one, especially you, deserves to feel that way. I'm going to help you through this, okay? No ifs, ands, or buts." You bury your face in his shoulder, breaking down and stuttering out your thanks.
Luke: "Hey, Luke? Can you bring me my make up compact?" Sitting in front of your mirror, he yells back a yeah, and a few moments later he's standing in the door way. "What is this?" "Make up, silly. What el-" you stop mid speech when you turn to look at him. He's holding a single, straight edge razor in one. "What's this doing in your make up." Though it isn't really a question. "I...uhm, use it to sharpen my eye liner." He doesn't buy it. Walking over to you, he sets it down and looks at you. "Where are they." "Where's what?" "You think I haven't noticed you stopped wearing shorts a few weeks ago? I thought it was just the weather, but it warmed up again. Show me." You swallow, knowing there's no way out of this. Gripping the edge of your knee length skirt, you raise it enough for the scars to be seen. He reaches out, tracing the raised lines of your skin before meeting your gaze before pulling you into the tightest hug you've ever gotten and tells you through gritted teeth."I want you to stop this. I don't care how bad you feel, if you ever get this feeling, call me, come talk to me. Don't ever, I can't stand to think of you in this pain, don't do it again, for me, please."
Michael: "Hey, are you okay?" Michael shook your arm some, looking over to him and smiling. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just zoned out." He grimaces some and you realize he's holding your wrist, looking down at the cuts. You forgot to put on your bracelets today, and you figured the long sleeve would cover it. You jerk your wrist away. "I'm fine." "Cutting yourself doesn't fall under the category of being fine, Y/N." You avoid looking at him, ashamed of what you have done to your own body. "Look at me." Reluctantly, you do. He sets his hand on your face, his thumb carressing your cheek bone, his eyes sincere. "I don't know why you did this to yourself, but I want to know. I want you to tell me what's wrong, I want you to tell me so we can work on getting you better." He leans in and kisses your lips softly, his free hand rubbing the mostly healed cuts. "No more of this, understand? We're going to get you through this." Feeling the tears well up in your eyes, you don't have any words. You just smile knowing there's someone looking out for you.
Calum: "Babe, can you get that box from the top cabinet?" "Sure." You reached up to grab the box of pasta you two were going to cook for dinner when the sleeve on your sweater fell down, just as he turned to tell you there was already a box in front of him. "What are those?" Turning your back to him and hastily rolling down the sleeve. "Nothing, the dog scratched me." "I don't think our dog coud have scratched you in perfectly straight lines." You cross your arms, shivering when you feel him touch your shoulder. "Let me see." "Calum.." "Let me see." He repeats this until you hold your arm, watching him as he rolls up the black sleeve and inspects your arm. Tilting your arm up, he cranes his neck and kisses your newest cut before pulling you into a hug. "We'll get you better, I promise. I'll help you every step of the way."
Well at some point I was gonna write about self-harm. I'm sorry if it triggers you. If anyone needs to talk you can always message me, I won't say I know what you go through but I know that it can't be a pretty fucked up shit cuz I'm a self-harmer too.
-ree
