#84- If These Sheets Were States By ATL Song Preference
Not mine
Ashton: This bed's an island made of feather down, and I'm stuck here alone
With little else but memories of you, on memory foam
A loud sigh filtered through the room as he tossed and turned in the enclosed space, trying to preoccupy his mind.
All Ashton could think about was you. He had tried to fill his thoughts with images of adoring crowds, the thought of being in another exciting city, or even the feeling of playing drums onstage. But instead, he kept coming across images of the times you both spent together, the thought of coming back home to you, and the feeling of his hands caressing your skin as he indulged in a sweet, sweet kiss.
He just wanted to sleep seeming as he was exhausted from last night's performance but he just couldn't dissuade the need to see your face, to hear your voice, to feel your touch.
He would give in and call you if he could but he knew better than to be selfish and disturb you when it was the early hours of the morning back at home.
He was all alone with only the thoughts and memories of you to keep him awake and alive.
Luke: This room's become a mausoleum, filled with relics of regret
Paying dues to every moment wasted, on words left unsaid
Luke sat backstage thinking back over the last minutes you two spent together at the airport, the feeling of regret filling him from head to toe. If only he had said what he had wanted to say, but he'd never been good with expressing his feelings into actual words.
-
He remembered saying his last goodbyes at the airport as silent tears fell down your face, wetting his fingers which were quickly brushing them away.
"I'll be back soon okay? It's only for a couple months and then I'll be home back to you in no time," he forced himself to smile. There was no doubt that this was affecting him as much as it was you but he couldn't let you know that, he needed to be a strong example.
"Flight 235 is now boarding," came the woman's voice over the speakers.
"That's my flight...." He trailed off.
"Goodbye Luke," you mumbled into his shoulder.
"Goodbye Y/N, I'll be back soon I promise"
You slowly unwound your arms from were they had been tightly clinging to his torso and he suppressed the urge to bring you back into his arms. He half-heartedly smiled at you one last time before walking to the admission desk.
"Wait, Y/N!?" He called out, remembering something he needed to tell you.
Immediately you turned around, waiting for him to say the words that you so desperately seeked.
"Stay safe," was all he said, instead of what he had originally planned to tell you.
Your face sunk with disappointment and with a slight nod, you had rushed off without another backwards glance.
-
Luke grumbled again at the memory. What he had really wanted to say was 'I love you' but he was unable to get those 3 little words out.
"We're on in 5," Ashton told him, causing him to break out of the trance.
He pushed the awful feeling from his gut out the way, and made his way to the stage to strum and sing away the guilt that weighed heavily on his heart, and the thought of you finding another boyfriend while he was gone.
Michael: Collisions of a finer love, I'd kill for one more way
To tell you how you make me better every day
Michael had been staring at the ceiling of the tour bunk for the past hour or two just sitting in silence.
You and Michael had broken up just before the start of the tour on the count that you didn't think you could handle a long distance relationship anymore. The silent nights of being alo proving to be too much for you to endure again.
Needless to say, it had crushed Michael and it was evidently clear from the purple bags under his eyes from lost sleep to the crack in his heart that although was under surface, could be seen from miles away.
You were the love his life, the person who he thought was 'the one'. He had planned everything from how he would propose to even how you both would both depart this world.
Tears sprung from his eyes at that thought of no longer having that option of spending your lives together anymore, but in his eyes, he knew he was at fault.
He blamed himself because if he had only payed more attention to you, if he had only called you every minute that was left available, if he had only whispered a thousand more I love you's, then maybe just maybe you would have stayed and he wouldn't be feeling like there was a gaping hole in his chest.
The one thing that stuck out the most though was a certain phrase that he used to tell you. Whenever the opportunity arose, he would tell you that you were what made him a better person every day.
Oh, how he wished he could just tell you that one more time and then maybe he would receive some closure.
Calum: 'Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again'
The rumbling of the tour bus was the only noise besides the soft snores coming from the boys below and across from him.
Calum sighed again, and looked over at his phone which he had been fidgeting with in his hands for the past 15 minutes. It was only 10pm wherever him and the boys were but he knew it was around 3am back at home where you were probably sound asleep.
Giving in, he unlocked his phone and pressed the call button on the number he had talked to many times before.
The echo of the ringing was torture to Calum's ears. He wished that you would pick up but at the same time he hoped you didn't because he didn't want to disturb you.
"Hello?" your tired voice filtered through the phone.
"Y/N? I'm sorry to wake you but I just needed to hear your voice. I miss you,"
"It's okay Calum, I miss you too but can we please talk about this later tonight? I'm really tired,"
"Yeah, of course. I love you," he said, not letting you know that he was disappointed that he couldn't talk with you.
"Love you too Calum, goodnight" you replied before the sound of a click signalled that the call had ended.
Calum sighed once more and nestled into the covers. It looked like it was going to be another night of no sleep with just him, his pillow, and the rising sun.
It was hard trying to make time with each other on tour with the time differences but Calum would settle for those long distance calls if it meant he could hear your voice and know that you were still with him, even if it was only in spirit.
