Chapter 13 | Love, as in Lila

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𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 - Em

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 - Em

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Today I move to New York.

Most girls would be excited to move to college. Start a new life and start all over with new people, a new city. But me, I don't want to leave my town.

My best friend died four months ago, she's here. Not physically, but for some reason I believe her soul is here. Her grave is here, being able to visit her, bringing her flowers.

I only got to be with Avery for such a short time. But such a short time can make such an impact on your life. Teddy was at Yale, and Inez moved to UVM next week.

We haven't spoken much, everyone grieves in their own ways. But me, I've iced everyone out slightly. The only person who can talk to is mom, her best friend died around my age. She gets it, the grief, the loss and the pain that cannot be ignored.

She held me as the days grew on, I think she's doing what she wished her mom did.

"Give me all your pain, I can take it, give all to me please" she says it to me when I have my break downs. I haven't turned to substances I wouldn't be able to come back from. I don't know how, in one day I lost the two most important people in my life.

While I gained a future, but a miserable one. Where my best friend no longer existed. I still don't believe she's gone most days.

Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend she's still here, what would she say to me? How would she make me feel better, I'd give anything for one more conversation.

"Sloan, we have to go" I look up to see mom holding out her hand to me. I place the flowers down on her grave and whisper goodbye. I'd be back in November, suddenly I feel better about only being a four hour drive away rather than a seven hour plane ride.

I sat in the back as my parents settled into the front and we began the drive to New York. I'd take her with me, Avery would come with me as a piece of my heart. Thing have gotten better.

I began therapy, and Audrey helps I've been open with her. I felt comfortable with talking to her about my pain. It's her job to help me after all, but she assures me that it's okay to grieve.

I haven't seen or heard from Alex in almost five months. But it's okay, I'm starting a new chapter of my life. Sometime people just don't end up together, he was my first real love.

The what if will linger, but I didn't really know him. I didn't even know his real name or if he even went to Harvard. This was my next chapter in my story, growth and new adventure.

I'd find my way in New York City. I'd meet new people and learn new lessons. High school is over and a new journey begins, it won't be easy, it was never meant to be.

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"Sloan?" My eyes flutter open, my visions slightly blurred but as I rub my eyes I hear the noise of a horn beep.

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