My Little Rae of Sunshine

Track 3 - Van Nuys

January 17th, 2007

It's been a couple weeks since I've been staying at Rae's place. It's weird, but I don't hate it. There's something about her that makes it all tolerable. She's quirky, but I can't help but find it endearing. It's like she's got this magnetic aura that pulls you in.

We've been talking a lot lately. Well, she talks a lot, and I mostly listen. I've never been good with words, but she can bring them out of me somehow. She's curious about my past, my dreams, and all that shit, and I've been trying my best to give her something to work with.

She's different from the other girls I've been with – not that I've been with many lately. Rae's got this fire in her, this determination that's inspiring. She's soon to turn 23-years-old and a business owner, for fuck's sake, and she takes pride in what she does. I respect that.

And then there's the music. She's got this whole record store filled with vinyl records, and she knows her shit. I could spend hours talking about music with her, and I don't get bored. It's like she speaks my language, you know?

She's kinda cute, though (obviously, she's not gonna go through my shit and see that I wrote that).

Anyhow, new year, new me.

That's what they all say. But I doubt that will be in evident in my case.

Just late of '06, I left Van Nuys. Not to be a snob to Slash, my so-called "little brother," but something about doing the same shit with drugs and women and Jack Daniels got boring and I was on the verge of forgetting that I'm a bass player. No hard feelings, though.

Yeah, I know leaving without saying goodbye was a dick move, but I need to be away for a while to get into grips of knowing that I exist. Kind of.

At least I spent Christmas with a person I've hardly known. The others – Tracii, Scot and London? Not a single call from them. But why should I be bothered about that? I might not be collaborating with them for much longer, though. Tracii's been a pain in the ass over the last few months, so I won't waste my oxygen trying to explain the many issues I have about him. Well, LOTS of issues.

I miss Van Nuys. The hotel room's scent being cocaine, pot, weed, pills, Jack Daniels, women, and rock stars. All fighting for the same dream. There's no escape in that. Once you have it, you can't change it. The same scent that lingers on my gear whenever I revisit to shoot up.

But if I'm crashing in Rae's place for a good couple of weeks, I'm in the clear of her rule: No drugs.

So, technically, I'm not an asshole for hiding anything from her; I'm trying to make things safe. But then again, I'm not sure if I can handle this. My demons are always lurking in the shadows, and I don't want to drag her down with me. Thanks to her rules, shooting up is tight so I can only shoot up in her bathroom once lights are out, but I know how quickly things can change.

I should just leave, disappear before I become too attached. But there's this part of me that doesn't want to go, that wants to stay and see where this goes. It's terrifying, but it's also exciting.

So, yeah. Happy new year to me.

Entering the Whisky-a-Go-Go, Sixx could feel the familiar atmosphere of the club enveloping him. The energetic buzz of the crowd, the thumping music, and the dim lighting created a sense of anticipation in the air. He made his way through the mezzanine level, his gaze shifting to the main floor below. It was packed with people, the dance floor alive with movement and energy.