The Mentor. (Cato Hadley)

Chapter Four.

Victors are out of the Reaping for life, if they win. That was the deal as we were fighting to the death in some arena, holding onto one last hope that one day we would make it out alive - and be free. This isn't just a coincidence, the changed out Quarter Quell preset, tributes being chosen from the existing pool of Victors. Twelve only has one female tribute - Katniss Everdeen, the one Snow wants to take out. And I wouldn't be surprised if my name came from the female tribute pool on the day of the Reaping, because I know he's after me, too.

I don't exactly know what I want to do now. I can't just give up, and decide that I'm just going to sacrifice myself. That's exactly what Snow wants, he wants me gone, out of his hair for good. The next few minutes of my life are consumed with the hardest thing I've ever done. I watch, nearly in tears, as the clear liquid of my whiskey bottles flows down the drain, emptying one after another. If I want any chance in winning, I have to be sober. Something I haven't been since I walked out of the arena.

I spend my next few days on my couch - sometimes with my brother by my side - watching the old Games of living Victors. With the exception of Haymitch, of course, who's game isn't televised. Ever. I train - hard - knowing my competition isn't going to be enough. I haven't used the skills that allowed me to win since I won, almost three years ago now. At least some things never change. I have less than five months to get back into prime shape, to prepare to head back into that arena.

While I wish I could say training as vigorously as I did before the 72nd Hunger Games had been the hard part, it most definitely wasn't. I'm completely out of shape, working my hardest on building muscle and getting back to the same status as I was the year I became a Victor. The hardest part is not drinking.

Since I can't incapacitate my mind with the bottle, using the fiery liquid to subdue every memory, every thought of the seventeen days I spent in that arena, I have to relive it all. I have to relive my malicious, evil killings, the smirks I had on my face as I watched children die. I have to relive the brainwashing being unraveled on the day I got my first customer, the day I finally realized that it was never an honor. Snow could hardly wait to put me on the roster, the day I got home from the Games being the day I learned of the obligatory services I had to give.

From that moment on - the moment I learned the truth - I drowned myself in alcohol, but you know that shit never helps at all. I wasn't facing my reality, I was putting myself into an alternate reality, one where I could just pretend I wasn't in a lifetime of pain and suffering. I don't have that option now, I have to relive it all. I have to relive the faces of the families of the tributes I killed, I have to relive the sound of the screams and the stab wounds, I have to relive the moments I spent laughing with my fellow careers about the fear in their eyes.

Four and a half months of that, wanting nothing more than to down a whole bottle, instead thrusting all of that energy into training. I know Brutus is planning on volunteering, if he doesn't get reaped, but what I don't know is if I would be able to win against him, if it came down to it. I cannot be allies with Brutus in this game, because he cannot be trusted. I know I'll have Johanna for sure - as she's the only living District Seven female Victor. And I hope to God that Finnick isn't in the Games, but I know he can be a high target for Snow as well. Finnick knows everything; payment for his services are secrets.

The day of the Reaping is hot, as if letting us in on the fact that we would be entering hell once more. The citizens of District Two stand in silence, an abundance of Peacekeepers surrounding them. The population of Peacekeepers has increased drastically, probably due to the various uprisings in the districts. Two has always had a very prominent Peacekeeper presence, as this is the district most of them come out of - the district they're trained in - but this is entirely different.

Vibiana does her usual show, twirling her hand over the bowl with slips of paper reading the names of the female District Two Victors. She reaches her hand in, pulling out a slip from the middle. "Marblyn Rivers," the silence thumps upon my ears as I leave the roped off Victor area, climbing up the stairs. Volunteering is allowed still, anybody could save me from this, but of course, they don't. I don't miss Sanai's smirk in the Victor section as she claps slowly, likely happy that I'm the one going in. She's never liked me.

The silence covers the crowd as Vibiana moves over to the male bowl of names, tripping over a loose wire and accidentally knocking into the bowl she just pulled my name out of. I try not to look as an Avox quickly picks them up off the floor, but the message is clear. Every single slip of paper, has my name on it. Snow is definitely targeting me.

After the Avox cleans her mess, the escort reaches into the other bowl, pulling out a slip of paper. "August-," before she could even finish saying Augustus' name, Brutus jumps from the roped off section, bounding up the stairs. "I volunteer!" Nobody is surprised.

It's only a split second before the Peacekeepers are ushering us to the train car, and I look around at them in confusion. "We don't get to say goodbye?" I say we, but what I really mean is me. Brutus has nobody to say goodbye to.

The Peacekeeper smirks at me like I'm some sort of scum, someone he can look down upon. "New procedure, they changed the rules. No goodbyes," with that, he shoves me into the train.