The Mentor. (Cato Hadley)

Chapter Twenty.

(All original because I'm stupid and accidentally deleted three chapters of this lol)

Not much has been happening during The Hunger Games lately, which leads to a stalemate. The Gamemakers most definitely have something up their sleeve, some way to force the tributes together to complete the ideal version of Capitol entertainment. The way these people wait an entire year to watch a televised fight to the death truly makes me sick. How do they live with themselves, doing this for almost a century?

In a way, I feel as though I should be grateful to Snow for trafficking me. I'm unsure of exactly who I would be today if I didn't have to go through all of the pain and suffering. After the Games, before the mental health issues set in, I was proud. I was proud of my status as a Victor, one of the youngest Victors, viewing it as the greatest accomplishment I could have done. After the glory and the excitement wore off, that's when I hit rock bottom.

That's when the drinking started, getting heavier and heavier until my Victory Tour. My tour was rough, as I had to learn to be a functioning alcoholic, exactly what I am nowadays. Starting from District Twelve, I had to look into the faces of the families of the children I had killed, and it was the most horrible thing I've ever had to do. The hatred in their eyes as I spoke, read the Capitol written words on the sheet of paper in front of me. It's something that I will never forget. The names of those that I had killed are ingrained in my brain forever.

My feelings for Cato are absolutely strong, stronger than probably anything I've ever realized. I'm unsure if it is love, because I've never actually felt love. Well, maybe the love of my mother, but that's all. Even that sort of love is restricted by my father, who doesn't allow my mom to speak to me unless he's present. Even then, it's a very rare occasion that I hear from either of my parents, only seeing my siblings on the days I'm ordered to go view the training.

Today, I sit at the park in the center of the Capitol, unusually empty for a hot summer day. The Hunger Games have been going on for two weeks at this point, and with six remaining tributes nowhere near each other, who knows how long we have left. Johanna has opted to leave the Capitol right after both her and Blight's tributes were killed during the bloodbath, to which I don't blame her. I would've left immediately as well, if Cato and Clove died. I haven't seen Finnick in awhile, which would normally mean he left too, but I know Snow deems him more useful in the Capitol than he is back in District Four.

"I just wanted to say goodbye, Marblyn," the white-blonde hair of Cashmere comes into view as she sits on the park bench next to me. "After Marvel's death, Gloss and I decided to leave." Her and her older brother are forced every year to be the District One mentors, despite there being many others. The Capitol likes the aesthetic of a sibling group mentor, and Snow likes the money they bring in.

I take a swig from the water bottle in my hand, anybody truly knowing me knows that it isn't at all water. I have to make it through these days somehow. "Leaving so soon?"

"I don't want to be anywhere I don't have to be," she shrugs, glancing around at the trees. I already scouted for cameras, and luckily for us jabberjays aren't in use anymore. We're safe to speak here.

"I wish I didn't have to be here," I shrug, glaring ahead. "I wish all of this would just fucking end."

"Do you have something in mind, Marblyn?" She questions, raising her eyebrows as she stares over at me. "Because if you do, you should tell me."

"I don't know, Cashmere. I don't have anything in mind necessarily, I just know I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sick of sleeping with people solely for Capitol enjoyment," I'm not quiet about what Snow has done to me anymore, no longer allowing him to threaten me. I can't give him that method of control if I'm going to be wholeheartedly in this, it's not going to work. I have to be totally and one-hundred percent focused on myself.

"Well," Cashmere stands, glancing off at something in the distance. "If you do think of something, let me know so the both of us could get out of it." She's disappointed, I can tell that much, but I know it's not because of the death of her two mentorees. She was using Glimmer, in hopes to lessen the traffic to her own body, and with Glimmer's death, that has failed.

"Goodbye, Cashmere, I'll see you next year," the words leave my mouth as I follow her gaze, seeing a figure in the distance. I know Cashmere, and I know she would never ask me outright if I knew about a rebellion. Someone put her up to it, probably by threatening her brother, and tried to get me to talk. I gave them just enough information for it to get back to Snow that I am absolutely not on his side. Snow likes playing his games, well it's now time for me to play my own.

I'm playing with fire, and I'm more than likely going to get burned. I don't care who lives anymore, and I don't care who dies. I don't care about my own life, or the lives of District Two. I care about putting a final end to Snow, I care about the rebellion, and I care about overthrowing the overly corrupt government of Panem. And one thing I'm extremely positive of, is that I will fight to the death to end the sadistic ideology that caused The Hunger Games.