From Hate Flourishes Love

Kai's Unspoken Love

Zander's POV

Kai runs into the bathroom, and I pull my pants up and follow after him. I can't believe I wouldn't hold out for a few minutes. It's the first time anything like this has ever happened to me.

"Kai, I'm so sorry," I tell him."I don't know what happened... I got too excited and just - " I couldn't even put what happened in the right words.

He stays quiet, reaches for the faucet, turning it on to wash away my spew from his face.

"I didn't mean to get my penis colada on your face. " I blurt.

"Your what?" He questions, looking at me through the mirror.

"Penis colada?" I hesitate.

Kai turns to look at me before bursting into laughter.

"Hmpf," he snorts." That's what you call it ?" He motions to his face.

"It's the only way I would think to say it without making things more awkward." I reason.

Kai giggles in response. I smile, perfectly enamored by the soft sounds of his laugh that warms my heart.

"I think you should start getting more sleep, reducing your stress at work, and drinking ginseng tea before bed ..." He lists solutions to a problem I didn't have.

"Wait!" I stop him. "Are you giving me remedies to improve my stamina? "

"Maybe-be." He mumbles.

"Really," I scoff." You're judging my stamina on a single hiccup?"

"I didn't mean to upset you." He rests his forehead on my chest.

"Don't worry! I'm not upset." I whisper against his ear."Just know you're not leaving this trip until we've made an official trip to pound town."

"Uh," he laughs nervously. "You're such a jokester."

"I am not joking," I tell him. "I love you. And I want to strengthen my attachment to you."

"Zander, I -" He mouths. I place a finger on Kai's lips to stop him from saying something.

"I don't just want to say 'I love you'; I want to express it too." I continue.

Kai pulls away from me and looks down at his feet." I never knew you felt that way about sex," he whispers.

"Heh," I grin. "You shouldn't let my promiscuous past sway your opinion of me . . ."

He takes a breath."Look," he says, emphatically, meeting my eyes in the mirror over the sink, "I won't think about your past."

I let go a sigh of relief hearing his words - happy that my past couldn't cause Kai to have any unhealthy thoughts about our relationship.

I was about to say something back when I looked at him, at how he was trying to be stout-hearted, and saw that he was agitated: He really didn't seem ready to discuss going all the way. I decide not to bring up the topic of us having sex for the rest of the trip. Still, I couldn't help myself from feeling hurt that he was hesitant to consummate our marriage. How could I show him that he meant the world to me? And that I wanted to have sex with him to feel closer to him, and not for my own selfish pleasure.

***

The snow-covered forest seemed to spread for miles. Kai waited beside me bundled in the warm winter gear, his excitement palpable as the tour guide took us to get a snowmobile for our ride through the scenic winter wonderland.