Your fabricated lie

19 - Constants

"You look worried?" Adi asked while playing with my hair gently.

Though I found my serenity in his arms and was living my best moments, this guy found the pain behind my genuine peaceful face.

That worrisome is not at all noticeable yet he saw it. Adjusting his position, "What is it? Tell me," he said. I chose to stay silent even when I had an answer to this question.

"Is it Gautham?" He read my mind and that didn't surprise me at all. After staying silent for a while, I moved away from him, turned around laying on my tummy and balanced myself on my elbows.

Looking at him, "That guy loves me way too much," I said.

"Then what about you? How do you feel?"

"I can't love him," I whined.

"Because?"

"I love y – " realization hit me. "Hold. There is no way I going to tell until you – "

"I love you!" He made my jaw drop for the second time in the day.

I forgot to blink my eyes and forgot to breathe. I doubted if my heart was working.

"That - that was quick," I looked at my fingers, avoiding eye contact.

"Say it," he said. I was not sure if that was a request or command.

"I… don't think now's the moment," I fell on my back and avoided the topic saying it's time to sleep.

Somewhere in that dark night and silence, we found the nameless thing we both were searching for. A few call it love, others call it lust, rest call it need – but we call it peace. If this is what is giving us the calmness, then neither of us mind doing it everyday.

Tonight I fell asleep in his arms assuming that I won't be alone when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Nevertheless, he proved me wrong.

This time I woke up not because I had to but because someone started exploring my room right in the morning.

Noticing the opened door opposite to my bed, I realized this guy entered my secret chamber when he was not supposed to. No one, I repeat, no one knew the existence of this secret chamber of mine. Taking sloppy steps I made my way in.

Aditya was playing piano - a TMI, he was shirtless. Honestly, my eyes felt blessed to get this view right in the morning. When I started taking piano classes secretly, I never knew I would have Aditya play it once. That too being half naked.

Leaning against the wall, I stayed silent till he completed. My secret chamber is just a room full of my favorites. There is this big photo of Aditya on the wall accompanied by many other small photos of him in this room of mine. I even have my violin locked up in a box because I never wanted to play it again after his rejection.

When life gets either too easy or too difficult, this is where I rant it out. I may not be a certified drummer but banging them as I want gives me immense satisfaction. Stress reliever for a reason.

Once he was done, I clapped letting him know my presence. "Woke up already?" He asked.

"You wanted me to," I walked towards him. Laying my hands on the action frame of the piano, I scanned him once from top to bottom.

"You are in my forbidden area!" I said.

"How was it?" He asked about his performance in contrast.

"Feeling honored to see a fine art doing justice to other art forms," I said. A quick smile showed how satisfied he was with my comment.

"Never knew you're a pianist," he said.

"I am not sure if I can call myself a 'pianist'. I started learning it a couple of years ago to keep myself engaged," I said.

"I thought you left music," there was this guilt written across his face while saying that.

"Leaving you itself was difficult. Now, music… I might probably die!" After a short pause, "True that I stopped playing violin," I said and his face became little.

Guess he is blaming himself now. Of course! I did stop playing violin because of him as those strings were carrying his memories. Locking up the instrument that got us together was just an effort to let him go and enrolling myself for piano classes was an effort to keep my passion going.

"Why piano out of all?" he asked.

"Because it turns out beautiful no matter how I play it," I said. "I mean, of course as long as I don't play the wrong note".

He laughed at my stupid excuse.

I further said, "And it also allows me to escape from reality - The reality that sucks!"

He was staring at me with incomprehensible expressions. It was hard to read his thoughts. "Which gives more peace? My hug or piano?" he finally spoke.

"How about doing both," I suggested, moving towards him. The stool he was sitting on was not so big at the same time, not so small. Asking him to move back and give me some space, we both were in the same seat in no time.

"Hug me while I am playing," I whispered.

Warming up my hands, I started up at a slow pace while he wrapped his both arms around my waist. We were too close to be true as he was sitting on one corner while I was sitting on another.

I chose to play 'moonlight sonata' by Beethoven because that is the only piece I am perfect at.

For a while it was just the music echoing around and his head resting on my chin. I was not sure if he was evaluating my performance or enjoying the music.

However, not so later, I felt his warm palms caressing my hands. That romantic act of his didn't distract me to that point. I almost thought it's just going to be touching my arms and to my surprise, the next second I felt his warm breath on my neck. I was still focused.  He was teasing me by rubbing his nose and cheeks on my neck. Lord! I was still focused.

The moment he kissed with utmost delicacy on my neck, I got distracted and playing a wrong note was a sign of it. "Wrong note!" he whispered against my skin and that shit tickled me and turned me on at the same time.

I noticed his bodily changes when he was busy sucking on to my neck like a vampire.

"Don't bruise it!" I tried to continue playing the rest part but this guy is not letting me do it. I stopped putting all my effort into playing it when I felt his warm tongue. His mouth created a vacuum and caused a break in my blood vessels through the suction of lips against my sensitive skin.

Inhaling sharply, "Adi…" I faced him. "I sense something poking me on my back. I hope it is not what I assume,” I said.

Pressing his forehead against mine, "Bed's not far away," he whispered against my mouth.

Not right in the morning!

Pulling myself away from him half heartedly, "Listen to me. We can't do it just because our body is asking for it – How about fixing a date?" I said and he was already disappointed. "The day we win this case, let's do it. Let's have a wild night on that day. Till then, hands off me," I moved back a few meters.

I couldn't help but smile at his position. He looked cute when he was sulking.

"Then… I will leave you alone for some time. Have fun!" I teased him and made my way out. "Tissues are in the draw," I yelled before stepping out.

This! This is the kind of life fantasized about. I don't know how it is going to end but these moments are going to come with me till my grave.

Let me be a bit poetic.

I finally found my city of stars and I will definitely love him for the next thousand years! In the world full of variables, he is just another variable whom I want to be constant. And I am sure. Someday… he is definitely going to be the constant.

If I had to choose one BGM for this moment, it would be 'Enchanted' by Taylor swift.