Your fabricated lie

17 - By your side

When I said last night was the best and worst thing that happened, this is what I meant. I never wanted it to get this complicated. Moments like this remind me that life is nothing but just a list of all those things you never wanted to happen. I don't know where things are going to head. Still, I will put all my efforts in not hurting people. At least not anymore.

It's almost 5 o'clock and there is no trace as to where Vikram is. I was worried because every little thing around me felt like a sign depicting the loop of history. My first call was to the guard. Those unanswered calls did nothing other than adding up pressure. The next second, my licensed gun was tucked behind, one hand grabbed the car keys and the other called Gautham automatically though I tried my best to hold back myself from making that call.

"Hello Gauth - "

"Mumma," I heard my son's voice. That one word put a sudden break to all my worries and jet speed actions. These are the moments which make me realize that Vikram is not MY son but OURS.

Rubbing my temples, I sighed at Gautham's childish behavior. "Give the phone to your dad," I said.

"Appa doesn't want to talk to you it seems, mom".

"Wha - "

"I am going to stay with dad for a week, mom. I don't want him to feel alone," Vikram uttered those words I never thought I would hear from him. "Bye, mom," he hung the call.

Unbelievable! He did not take away Vikram, did he?! Gautham, I want to slap you for real! I could do nothing but complain.

From there, evening was not as usual. I had to cook for myself, play by myself and watch those illogical cartoons on my own. Now I didn't know sleeping would also be difficult.

Crashing on the bed and staring at the ceiling, I wondered how hard life could get and how deep I've to dive to hit the rock bottom because at this point one thing is for sure. None of my sufferings are going to stop till I crash onto the rock bottom.

Man, this is suffocating!

Sleeping with all these confusing thoughts would be more than difficult. In addition to this, once you get a taste of sleeping with loved ones, sleeping alone would be scarier than ever.

The urge to call Adi and have him by my side is not something I want to resist. Still, I am fighting it off as I am considering the consequences too. I had a fight with Gautham this morning and now if I call over Adi to my home, I will never be able to convince my ego.

On to right for ten minutes, left for ten minutes and on my tummy for another ten minutes I kept tossing around.

Okay. Today is just another sleepless night and I must take pills!

Turning on the lamp, I opened the draw to grab some pills. I hoped at least these pills would help me out. Noticing the empty water bottle, I groaned. When stepping out of my room my plan was to take pills, fill my water bottle and come back.

That isn't what happened. I neither took pills nor filled my bottle. I don't know why but I wanted to step out for a moment. I opened the door and there he was! The man of my dreams!

"Since when were you contemplating whether to knock or not?" my brave self questioned him. His presence in front of my door in the middle of the night neither scared me nor surprised me. It is maybe because I was hoping for it to happen.

"Busy?" he asked. It was too stupid of him to question that in the middle of the night.

"For you... Nope!" I replied.

"My own bed sucks," he said.

"Mine sucks even more," I didn't mind letting him know my struggles of staying apart.

"Wanna stay awake together?"

There we go! We are again teasing each other.

He further said, "I wanna be by your side, Anu - or... under you," that gave me a mini heart attack. My pupils dilated. "...or on top!" He completed his statement and my pupils dilated even more. He left me speechless to the point where my jaw almost touched the floor.

To be honest, I really love this side of him. It's just that I am putting on this 'innocent girl' image or else the scenario would be different by now.