Masterminds - h.s

CH 11

Harry Styles

Change.
Change.
Change.
Change.

It won't stop, there's so many voices.

The screaming and the laughter.

The footsteps.

They are getting closer.

"Hey." A hand touches my cheek.

My eyes open although I don't remember closing them.

Blaze kneels infront of me.

I'm on the couch.

"I gotta go take care of something, will you be okay staying here with the triplets?" She asks.

"Mm. Marshall can help me out too. Come back in one piece please." I whisper, it's still dark outside.

"Of course." She kisses the top of my head. The act of warmth from her confuses me.

Her kisses were merely a distraction a week ago. But at least once a day she does something kind, something out of the ordinary.

I still cant figure out why she continues to do it.

The thought of her caring about me, in the same way he did, does, keeps me awake.

If I let her in, like I did with him. It's going to happen again.

She will hurt you, Harry.

She's going to hurt me and I won't recover this time. I haven't recovered from him.

I know I won't recover from her.

She could destroy me and I would let her.

Over and over again.

She doesn't want you, Harry. One look in the mirror and you would know that.

Artie cries.

I'm in front of his crib before I realize.

In the past week, the cheif offically took me off of the force on paid leave so I can care for this child. Blaze and the triplets moved in.

She moved into the spare room and they moved into my own.

I am now on the couch.

It was my choice.

The triplets refuse to sleep apart from each other anyways so this was the best option.

Marshall is happy, he can finally cook all he wants for more than just me and him.

I'm losing it.

I have hardly slept, I don't eat much, I just pretend like I do so I don't hurt Marshall's feelings.

My hands hurt, my hair is falling out with how much I have touched it.

I can hardly breathe.

Artie and I seem to be the only people who realize how suffocating it is.

He cries until I pick him up.

That's all he needed, he just needed me to pick him up.

I kiss him on the cheek, and stay there for a while bouncing him around the room.

Trying not to be consumed by the thoughts swarming me.