You're My Only One! || KNJ - AU || ✓

Chapter Ten

- 𝐘/𝐍 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒' 𝐏𝐎𝐕 -
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The next day work went by in a blur. Everyone kept asking me what happened to my lips (about the bruise) & I kept lying to them that I fell down the stairs.

Ofcourse many of them didn't buy my lie but they didn't press me on telling them exactly what happened, and I was really thankful for that.

While I was finishing off my work & was about to leave, there we a knock on the door. I quickly moved to the door and opened it. However, the moment it opened, I froze.

Standing there was Kim Namjoon... I didn't move, neither did he.

"Hey... Ummm... Can we talk? Please.?" He asked in a small voice.

"So you can ignore me for another week after that?" I gave him a smile, well a fake smile. My voice coming out colder than I'd expected. My intention wasn't to be a bitch but I was hurt and I didn't know what to do.

"I... Please give me a chance to explain. Please Y/N." His voice was pleading.

"Ok fine."

"Can we... Can we talk in my studio please? I don't want anyone to hear anything." He says in a gentle voice.

I just nod my head in response and follow him out to his studio. Once we were both in, he made me sit in his chair and he knelt down right infront of me. I was gonna oppose but he shook his head making me shut up.

We were quite for a while, before he decided to start speaking.

"Y/n, the reason for me avoiding or ignoring you wasn't because of you. It was because of me, my insecurities, my fear." He started.

I was about to say something but he stopped me by shaking his head, so I let him continue.

"It was about 2½ years ago. I was in love with a girl, Myeong. She was a trainee under BigHit. We started off as friends but fell for each other, atleast that's what I thought. Everything was going so good between us. We were like 2 teenagers in love. There came a point where I couldn't give much time to her because we, I mean Bangtan were at the peak of our careers. One day when we were done with work early, I decided to surprise her, so I went to her apartment, but what I saw there, broke my heart into millions of pieces. I... I found her with someone else under the sheets, naked, on the same bed where she was laying like that with me. She was my first, my first in everything. My first love, my first kiss, my first time, my first relationship and even my first heartbreak and first betrayal. I was broken but I had to hide everything. I had a responsibility to take care of. Bang PD trusted me and put the future of 6 young boys in my hands and I couldn't just let them down because of my broken self. I couldn't even give myself the opportunity to mourn the loss of my love." He stopped and took and deep breath wiping his tears that kept falling.

"I later on found out that she was cheating on me all along. She... She used me for my money, fame and sex. I fully shut myself off after that. I never let any girl take over my mind, heart or anything. All I thought of was BTS and ARMY. All I could think was every single girl is like her. I know that is wrong but my trauma never let me think otherwise." He continued looking down at his lap.

"Do you... Do you think I'm like her Namjoon? You think I wanna be your friend only because I wanna use you?" I asked. Even the thought of him thinking of me that way was breaking me and making me feel sick all the way to my heart.

"Oh my God. No Y/N-shi, not at all. What I meant was that you look like someone really good. If I get close to you, I'll just hurt you." He replied with a sad smile.