You're My Only One! || KNJ - AU || ✓

Chapter Nineteen

- 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕 -
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You remained there, sitting on the floor of the lobby outside the OT, and cried for what felt like forever.

They all tried talking to you but you were lost. The land beneath your feet shook and the world around you spun within literally no time.

You couldn't understand why would he do that? Why would someone as strong and practical minded like Namjoon try to kill himself.

You were lost. You were broken. Your heart - shattered. Your chest - aching. Your head - spinning.

All you want right at this moment is to run to him, give him a slap and tell him to stop with these stupid pranks.

But deep within your heart, you knew that none of this is a prank. You knew that he actually did try to kill himself.

After crying your heart out, to the point where you no longer have any more tears left out, you look up at them and speak. "D-does anyo-one know-w why he-e d-did th-hat?" You ask through your broken voice and continuous sobs.

There was no response for a while, and then you could see a piece of paper infront of your eyes. Before you could ask what's that, the person with the paper speaks up.

"He left this note before he tried to kill himself." Speaks Seokjin.

"What does it say?" You ask in a shaky voice.

"We have no idea. None of us had the courage to open it and read." He further responded.

You take the note from his hand and start reading...

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Hey Y/N...

I know it's you reading the note. None of the others have the courage to do it..

Don't worry, I won't take much of your time or waste your time..

I'm writing this letter before acting on what I've decided. Yes, I've decided to commit suicide. Why? I don't know how to explain that..

You mean the world to me, and I hurt you. The boys, they're my family, and I hurt them, especially Yoongi Hyung. PD Nim and Sejin Nim, they're my father figures, and I hurt them as well..

I won't go on and say I am sorry, because I know that I'm not worth being forgiven. I don't deserve any of your forgiveness..

I'm honestly tired. I'm tired of pretending like I am ok. I'm tired of keeping myself together. And I'm tired of living..

I'm so ashamed of myself that I don't know what to do. I hate myself for what I've done to you and even if you ever forgive me for that, I'll never be able to forgive myself..

My guilt and my depression are eating me away Y/N. I've tried, I promise, I've tried my best to fight but at the end, I am a stupid idiotic asshole who is nothing but a disappointment to everyone..