Greatest Sin | Levi Ackerman x Reader

Goodbye

The walk home after the rain was the most unsubtle anguish you've ever felt. It felt as if your will to do basic needs such as sleeping, eating—or even just simply getting ready for the day were utterly quelled.

Your heart was pulverized. Your thoughts were like being stranded in the ocean—you were beginning to drown in something so chasmic. Heartbreak truly was like drowning—your body became ever so unfathomably feeble and you couldn't breathe the way you wanted to. You reached for the top, wanting a new breath of fresh air, but you let your heart sink to the bottom. It was too late.

You didn't come out of your room for a couple of days. Sure, you found leftover snacks in your room and you came out to use the restroom, but that's all you managed to do—all you wanted to do.

But you knew you couldn't hide in your sorrow forever. You had to face your friends and everyone else eventually, as you had a ton of chores to catch up on. You were dreading the fact that you had to face Marco and Levi today.

You hopped out of bed, beginning to head towards the restroom, until you discerned that Mikasa was standing in front of your door the moment you opened it. She dropped her hand to her side, as it was clear she was getting ready to knock, but you beat her to it.

"Sorry. I promise I wasn't being weird. I haven't seen you for like two days, so I came to check up on you." She stated, slowly smiling.

"I'm fine." You replied, forcing a smile on your face. Though, it was a lie. The facade you wanted to put on, couldn't hide your puffy cerise eyes—or the hoarseness in your voice.

"Y/n? Have you been crying?" She whispered apprehensively.

You sighed and forcibly pulled Mikasa into your room. You sat down on the edge of your bed and motioned her to sit down next to you. You could feel the stress and heartache in your body, as you rummaged your fingers through your hair.

"I fucked up." You muttered, bouncing your leg up and down. Her gaze was piercing into you, but you were looking down—evading eye contact as much as possible because you knew that the moment you looked at her, tears would uncontrollably burst out of your eyes.

She tilted her head, "What? What did you fuck up, Y/n?" She queried, rubbing your back to alleviate your emotions.

Your lips parted, the second you acquired the courage to look her into the eyes. You already lied to her multiple times, which was nothing, but a slap in the face. The way her eyes softened whenever she looked at you, the way her body language spoke to you whenever she saw that you were evidently upset—made you question if lying to her was even the right thing to do.

The more you messed around with Levi, the more you felt yourself straying away from your friends little by little. You always had to pensively come up with excuses or explanations to cover up the dirty little secret you were hiding—just so you could salvage your friendships with everyone else.

You looked down at your feet, ruminating some kind of answer to give her. You opened your mouth to tell her the truth, but swiftly shut it again. The words you wanted to say, simply couldn't roll off of your tongue, as you felt instant indignity the moment you thought of Levi.

Should you tell your friends the truth and risk losing their trust and dwindling your friendships, alongside of getting Levi and yourself demoted or keep your secret safe and continue to lie to everyone you know, while risking one heartbreak after another? The entire situation was beginning to feel like an act between selflessness and selfishness.

You were gambling and you had to play your cards right or you'd lose everything on the table—everything you worked hard for. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation.