"I Prefer to Work Alone..." [Madness Combat x OC]

|[Chapter 12]|

Trigger Warning: Self-loathing, mentions of a possibility for s*icide

Do not read/Please skip if this makes you uncomfortable. The content in this chapter is not highly impactful to the plot, so you are safe to do so.

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'Why am I like this...'

'Why can't I just do something right...'

'If I just... did something right... I wouldn't be like this.'

'They would... they would still be here if I did something right...'

'It's always my fault. She told me that everyday... And she was ri-'

'No! She was never right! Never will she ever be right! How dare she-'

"Uhhh, Keez, where's the can opener?" yelled a voice from somewhere nearby.

It snapped me out of my dark trance. It seemed I was staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, going through another pitiful episode of self-loathing. The same old thoughts about the same old questions that I knew the answers to, but never wanted to remember.

My face looked so tired. I was drained from all the rumination I've been experiencing since a few days ago. My life felt like it was making less and less sense. All these screw-ups my boss kept reminding me about made my life feel like it was losing meaning.

I am a mercenary.

I should not feel remorse.

I should not give mercy.

Yet I still manage to do it more often than not.

"Keez?" called the voice again, this time making me sigh and rub my eyes irritably. I knew who it was and began to remember what exactly was happening. It was my friend, Linn, who I had invited over to have dinner with me, since she can't cook for the life of her.

I walked out from the bathroom and down the hallway that led to the living room and kitchen. I looked to see Linn standing with a can of what looked like spaghetti in her hands. Another sigh escaped me.

"Linn, what are you doing...?" My voice was low and tired, almost emotionless but it wasn't completely gone from my tone. The British girl turned to look at me with a curious look.

"You've got canned spaghetti... I've never seen nor eaten it, so I kinda wanna try it out," she replied. She smiled a little as she inspected the can while I just deadpanned before chuckling a little at her wonder. I walked over to her and picked the can out of her hands and placed it back in the cabinet with other canned goods.

"Alright, first thing I'm gonna say is that canned spaghetti here tastes ass, it's not good," I spoke with a slight smirk. Linn seemed surprised, despite her most likely seeing this product in at least one of the grocery stores she's been to.

"Then why do you have it...?"

"I'm not finished, dumbass."

She gasped before pouting and folding her arms, although Linn was used to this kind of behavior from me. I've always been the "mean one", or that's how she'd put it, in our friendship, but it was mostly because I don't stand for any crap.

"The reason why I have canned spaghetti that I would never want to eat is because it's a thing called rations. Do you know what rations are?"

"I'm not stupid, Keez." It was like she truly took that to heart, when that was actually a genuine question, but based on the way she answered, I assumed she understood what I meant.