UNPARALLELED BONDS

The Return

The contradictions of my life are inevitably present. I was a little apprehensive about writing this book as I would have to mention those things I have been avoiding thinking lately. But now I have no one to share those weird goings-on, so I decided to jot down those.
A multitude of events hits my brain as I decide to write. I shall therefore dance my brain off and then write with the blood of my heart.

Well , it will be a sin if I didn't mention what havoc that previously written book of mine - "UNPARALLELED BONDS" created in my life. I literally did an immense search to find a suitable site for publishing that book which I was writing for one year on Wattpad. I got a free author copy of that book and that " free " word is a like a blessing for a middle class person like me who would otherwise never had bought her own book . The book came on 10 march and I was excited as hell. The feeling of writing your first book and unpacking it , touching it's soft cover , white and elegant pages on which my immense 11th class biography was written with black ink and the fragrance of that fresh book as if it was printed just now gave me chills down my spine. And as I was too much engrossed in my happiness that I circulated it's photo on social media in my impulsiveness . Soon came my relatives to ask about that newly published book . For a while I denied and also told my cousins not to tell anyone about this shit as the content of my book is not suited to my double faced relatives. So I tried hiding it and a lot of conflicts occured side by side like yelling at my sister on the phone who did a great job in popularizing my book everywhere and even told her close friends to buy that. But the most hilariously horrible thing happened when one of my cousins in my family came to me for investigation and ordered my secretive documentary. I was that much gullible that I willingly allowed .
Day by day I was feeling anxious about infinite things running in my head . I consulted my two trusted family persons. First one was my own sister , relying on whom is my only option and second one is Gudiya di .Only and only if Joyel was physically present , I would've been enjoying my beautifully fucked up life. Nevertheless she suggested me ways to kidnap the delivery boy or identify myself as the orderer or snatch the book from my cousin after delivery and run away to my home and lock the doors. I hung up the call and literally after listening to her nonsense advices wanted to hang myself too. My anxiety level reached its peak when one day her book arrived . It was morning time and I was sleeping peacefully under the comfy blanket. Then comes my mom who made me aware of the fact that my cousin's book just got delivered . I jumped out of my bed to fight this war.

The day I was waiting for finally came . With that I opened the door slowly and saw her unpacking the book. I was in front of her , staring at her every move but couldn't do anything . As she opened the book , my heart just accepted the fact and then she read the dedication part which is in itself tells the sensitive names in my biography.
I left saying her goodbye but went to my Gudiya Di's room and vent about that shit.
I called my sibling and we , three , planned out that I will sneak into my cousin's house when she will be in the bathroom and steal the book like a Spiderman. I know stealing was a worse idea but not the cost of my anxiety and dignity. I am saying this cause Gudiya di made me aware about my cousin's behaviour of spreading things everywhere and imagine if your image displayed by others doesn't match the image of yours they already have in mind.
Also my relatives are so gullible, believing in every thing other says. But the real problem comes when those relatives pick on you in every nook and corner .
However to compensate my cousin , I decided to give her the amount by any means.
So I went there 3 times , gave excuses like returning a borrowed pen or asking for something to wear as I was going out with one of my tuition friend. And it was first time I asked for her clothes. She misunderstood and asked savagely if I was going on a date. I controlled my expressions and left then came again to return her sweater that I borrowed and searched for the book while she was bathing. After I found that book , I covered it under my shirt and left.
After that I ignored whenever she would talk about her missing book . She even doubted on me but my acting saved me. I felt bad for her but at last my sibling told me to chill and I followed her advice.
Then I gave that book to Gudiya di to read as she was a little bit upset because I denied her reading that before. And then every anxiety came to end and my life was again peaceful.