UNPARALLELED BONDS

Stupefied

My school is the worst like why did they set exams after farewell. Even if I had 10 days to study, my effective study would only start one day before the exam. We had 3 main subject exams with a 2 day holiday for each. I would study only the 2nd day.

Thursday, 8 Feb

It’s quite a strange thing, isn’t it? Where has my exam anxiety gone? I never experienced remaining nonchalant one day before exams. I am one of those night owls who study only one day before an exam, and honestly it's time saving but not less than a bad trip.

I study math like verbal communication between me and my mind and that is the worst way.
However, I’m used to it now. I’m used to being like a dull, boring panda who does nothing except sleep. This is a proof of my messed up sleeping schedule where the three hours of sleep catches up to me at times where I’m supposed to be conscious.
I always plan things out, most accurately but then again my plans don’t include extras like dancing, daydreaming, animating and sometimes stalking my non-existing crush.
I love each of these extras I do in a day and this love reaches to the peak only on days where I’m subjected to intense mental abruption.
These may be treated as an escape though it’s temporary.

While making accurate plans and on the contrary filling the time with extras, I checked the time on my phone. It was 7 pm in the evening and the total chapters done were 4. By this time I should have gotten serious but no, I’m Omega(I doubt if I am). I sincerely chanted (not sure) the topics until it was 8:30 and checked my phone again. 10 mins passed, I look at my home screen for the last time and as I was about to press the off button, my phone boomed and a notification popped out.

I was dumbfounded.

My eyes widened, my mind abruptly stopped .I got freaking numb. My hands shivered and I could feel the heaviness on my chest. It felt like my whole body was vibrating on the beats syncing with the voice of him.

Yes, it was HIS message.

My instant reaction was stolen by the fact that HE texted and not by what HE texted which was just a delulu for me.
When I read his name on the screen, I felt it was a dream but when I read what was written by him, I believed it was a dream.

M#HI! : (in reference to the poem) U r a QT Thanku i appreciate it>

People have the best family time, best days, best interactive sessions and here I had the best crying session.
I began to sob the second moment unexpectedly because what had happened was also unexpected. It had been six months since he deactivated his account and all this time I was filled with apprehensions like what if he would never text or what if he had blocked me as I was a way too much cringe. There were times when I regretted texting him. I was insecure about my impression on his mind. I had no way to communicate other than texting.
Being verbal in math is not the same thing as being verbal in engaging with people.
I was quite overwhelmed on receiving his text. And I told him about my crying session. He cozily replied Shhh don’t cry I am gonna disappear again…

I stopped sobbing and asked him hopefully to return on 9 March so that I could give this book to him. I also asked whether he wanted softcopy or hardcopy. Giving a hardcopy was out of my reach without his help, so I always thought about the softcopy and the plus point is that I would need no edits. He agreed but told me that he will discuss it after exams.
That was the shortest but the most comfy conversation I ever had.

After that I checked the date sheet of  board exams. I had IP in an optional subject and his was physical education. I gave him the date 9 March because after that I have a one month break and after that IP exam. But he had Physical education exam on 12 March.

“What if he got distracted because of me and could not study?”, I thought.

“Am I even one of those captivating people?”, I thought again

Nevertheless, I leave it to him.

Also, 9 March is my birthday, the day selected by me to finally take the plunge.