Until the very end ~ Lockwood & Co

4. Start of the first case

"If it isn't a cat..."
Suddenly Lockwood went quiet .
No, no, no.  You will not notice me . It's a cat ! I'm not even here ! I don't see you, so you can't see me.
And then steps came towards the bed .
Oh god , no.
I don't want to be fired ! I watched as his shoes came near me and admired the shining pink socks, which didn't fit his suit at all. I flinched as suddenly Lockwoods face was right in front of mine .
"Good morning Hel."
His voice was full of sarcasm .
"Hi Woody ."
I smiled at him with my best innocent smile, praying that it would make the situation better .
"You want to tell me what you're doing down there ?"
He gestured towards the George's bed. I sneezed again.
"No , thank you."
He holds his hand towards me and I grabbed it .
It was cold ... like always. Swiftly he pulled me out from under the bed and then up. It was silent between the three of us. George and I tried to communicate trough our gazes before I started to speak.
"Please don't be mad."
Lockwood shook his head before he heated out of the door . I sighed while watching him leave.
Oh , we fucked up.

I waited , silently , while Lockwood asked Lucy about our names for each plan. I always find them confusing and irritating but I tried my best to remember each name. Even though we never really yell the plan name. Lockwood seems to ignore me since this morning , which really hurt me. Lockwood knew me , he knew exactly that taking away any part of social activity's with him will hurt me.
So he does it .
George once said :
"You both are so stubborn , you can't do different then hurt each other sometimes."
Lucy meanwhile seems to not notice our silent... or she doesn't care , who knows. On the other hand she doesn't even know us that good yet. Maybe she thinks we don't talk that much normally ? Georgie of course stayed home , making me the only one who suffers under Lockwoods madness.
What a wonderful day , isn't it ?

To be honest I wasn't really paying attention the last few minutes. The last thing I remember was us standing in front of the house and now we're in the kitchen. My head seemed to be on stand-by. I was sitting on one of the chairs next to the round kitchen table, on which someone had placed the cookies and tea. But my mind was playing the situation of this morning over and over and over again.
Do I need to apologize ?
Did I do wrong or did Lockwood ?
I mean he slightly overreacted but still...
Was it my fault ? I mean, I gave him an reason to overreact . Ugh, socializing is so fucking exhausting .
I should have stayed home like George did.

"Sarcastic or ironic ?"
Finally I snapped back in reality or at least I try .
"The clevrerer one ."
Lucy answered . What are we talking about ?
"Do you think she pushed him ?"
Lockwood Stood up from his chair and walked towards Lucy, who was fiddling on our bags. Oh , so the reason our clients husband died .
What a lovely conversation.
"Well, at least that would've been an motive."
Shivers ran down my spine as I realized,once again, how casually my generation speaks about death.
It was my darkest secret , something I will never be allowed to reveal , to no one. I'm afraid of the death .
Every ghost makes me feel like it rips out my soul and keeps it forever . At the same time I feel slight comfort in it. Maybe even adore it. It doesn't matter how bad I fuck up, I will die ... sooner or later . But that's not what I should think about . If you work in an agency you're not allowed to feel something about the death. You need to ignore it , need to forget what you're Job is and in what danger you're in every second. So I straighten my shoulders and start looking around.

Let's find the fucking ghost.

I was walking right behind Lockwood. The hair on my neck stood up. It was dark around me , the only thing I could see was Lockwoods figure and some furniture because of his flashlight.
"Knockings back ."
Lucy announced, who was right behind me.
A few steps later she added:
"Getting louder."
I sighed , realizing I should do my job. I closed my eyes and concentrate , trying to activate my talent.
"I feel something weird.
Almost dark."
I shook my head in confusion. This feeling was strong , not like the ones from other ghost. Most of the time I have the feeling like I am watching a memory and remember the feelings from the time but now ...
Now I'm having the feeling I'm living the memory and it doesn't feel great.
"It stopped . As soon as I stepped on the landing , so it knows we're here."
She was totally right. I could feel the ghost vanish away from me . It felt like it let it's cold grip slip from my soul and if Lockwood and Lucy wouldn't be here , I would let out an relived sigh. Of course I didn't do that, I breathed in and tried to ignore this feeling .
Who knows what would happen if one of them would find out how I feel . I wonder if Lockwood would throw me out, George would. He would have a bad feeling because I'm his friend but he knows where his priorities are .
Lucy...
I don't know her good enough but I think she wouldn't do that. I could see Lockwoods head turn towards me like he was mustering me and then he turned away .
Please , don't hear my thoughts.