The ceiling looked down on him disapprovingly.
Marshall flipped it off. A sigh. He had a déjà-vu. His life sucked, hard. So do you, apparently. What the fuck was wrong with him? You're gay. Why the fuck did he do that? Because you're gay. What the fuck had just happened? Your gayness. Is that even a word? Why the fuck was this happening to him? Because you're gay! Is anyone fucking listening to me? The hell!
He burrowed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He wasn't going to cry himself to sleep over this. He wasn't! Not tonight! The deaf shit wasn't worth any of this. He was just another asshole, a one-night stand not worth remembering. Just one bad fling of so many, Marshall wouldn't remember him for long. There was no need to get all worked up over this. What was one more forgotten face? Didn't add much to the whole shitty pile at this point.
He was angry at himself for falling for this son of a bitch. Of course he knew, what it meant when your heart fluttered at someone's attention and why it had sunken when he had seen the girlfriend. He wasn't stupid, just stubborn. And it seemed like he also was still blue-eyed enough to fall for some random guy practically at first sight. You're a romantic girl, always looking for true love. It's sickeningly sweet. That was just dumb. He should know better by now. People didn't just like him, they always had some ulterior motives. He knew that, that's why he had trust issues.
Apparently some people still fell through the cracks.
On top of that he had broken both of his rules for this shithead. And he had liked it ... He couldn't look at himself in the mirror anymore. Again. This was awful. How could he like something like this? Because you're gay. I sound like a broken record. That wasn't right. He should be with girls. It had worked just fine in the club the other night. That was horrible! Have pity on the poor hooker. It had worked just fine so far in his life. Yeah, ask Kim about that. She'll tell you a different story. Why did he need to change that now? Don't fix, what ain't broke. But you are! Look at yourself, man, you're crying again. Just get over it already. He pulled the sheets over his head.
This gay thing was over!
You're killing yourself.
YOU ARE READING
Love Is Ǝvil
FanfictionIt's September 2010, Marshall Mathers better known as Eminem is getting his life back together. He has been sober for two years now and two albums later his work is going fine as well. But the hardest is yet to come: How to find romance? Only thing...
