This is what shock feels like.
It felt like absolutely nothing. I was numb. I couldn't feel anything. Adrenalin burst through my veins, sharpening my senses, but my body felt like a puppet. I could taste the tanginess of cup noodles in the air, which was probably coming from my sweat. My pupils dilated, taking in every tiny pixel of the creatures that loomed before me.
"Mama," Bobby repeated.
"I thought I was your mama!" I asked Bobby above me, but he probably didn't hear it.
"BABY!?" The barely recognizable colossal figure's voice echoed through the stratosphere. Its voice was nasal and so incredibly loud it made us all jump.
"Wh--what is happening? Am I hallucinating like Amiel?" Andrew wondered loudly, unable to comprehend the sheer vastness of the figure looming over him.
"I'm not hallucinating!" I complained. "But I too find it very sus. Like... what in the name of Andrew is going on here?!"
John stood chill and composed, squinting a bit at the humongous figures. "Looks like Bobby found his mommy."
I began to squeal in excitement. Oh, em, jee! I was so happy for Bobby! Distantly, I hoped his mommy wouldn't be making him do homework anytime soon. But I was definitely mostly happy. Now, the problem was solved, and Bobby found his family!
However, there was still a minor issue.
In fact, it wasn't a minor issue at all, was it? Dude ate my friends. How was I supposed to explain to those enormous monsters in Bobby Language that I wanted her to return my friends, unless they already got digested. Speaking of, I wondered if they would, alternatively, cause digestive problems for Bobby's mommy. I always thought the Lord of Darkness was a little bit hard to swallow.
I had an idea. It had worked for me once before when I was trying to communicate with evil chickens back in Camp Half-Blood. I raised my arms well above my head and began to communicate in a series of complex signs, all well-practiced and scientifically tested. Okay, maybe not. But, I was hoping they'd understand. I touched my nose with my index, then scratched my head with my other hand, then began jumping up and down, making gorilla sounds, and poking my index fingers to my sides as if poking invisible people.
I felt Andrew's eyes on me, then heard him sort of cackle maniacally. John stared at me like I was completely out of my rocket.
"Hey Amiel, you know that you just said that there are lots of gorillas in your nose scratching your head?" Andrew said. I ignored him. Clearly, he did not speak ASL.
To my credit, Bobby turned my way. AHA! I had got his attention! Success!
John snorted. "He's coming your way, dude! And he big!"
I didn't really need him to narrate. I could see Bobby was heading my way, but I also knew my beloved friend would not be pummeling me with its largeness. He began to shrink as he came nearer and nearer. Finally, when he was just an arm's length from me, he was back to being the size of an adorable opossum.
"Hey Bobby," I cooed. He began to purr and squeal, which is just what giant monsters do to show affection. "Do you mind telling your mama that she might have sort of definitely eaten my friends? I'd like them back, if that's okay?"
Bobby farted, which I knew to take for assent.
It was hard to say goodbye to Bobby. After all, we'd been together for almost ten chapters. He'd become an important part of my story, and now, I had to write him off. Mostly because I have to end this one and start a new one.
Bobby let out an agonizing cry as it farted up into the sky, returning to its ginormous size so it could whisper into his mommy's... ear? Antler? Belly gash? I wasn't quite so sure of the way their anatomy worked, but okay!
Bobby mommy grunted excitedly, which I also took for assent.
Then, the area where the gash had been, which was now closed, began to grumble. It moved like popcorn being popped in a plastic bag. The flesh rolled back and forth, and I feared it might vomit all over us.
"Take cover!" yelled John.
"Incoming!" yelled Andrew.
"Run!" yelled me.
It was as unexpected as it was unpleasant. A shower of goo plus green stomach fluid began to rain upon us as friends and objects of all shapes and sizes were simultaneously ejected out of the gash.
Out came Jerry. Out came Tristan. Out came Vanessa. Out came Billygoogoojiggy. Out came the poopiest of them all, Poopleheim, my sword and fierce companion, puked in the order opposite to which they had been consumed, like the children of Kronos being puked out of the titan's belly!
So that is the end of the story.
But is it?
