CONSUME

[04] the moment

***

kameron springfield

This moment right here: This is the moment. It's the worst moment ever. I cleared my throat dryly and awkwardly, the air in this tiny closet being unbearably suffocating. Axel and I just stepped inside, and he turned the lock before standing in front of me. This room was basically empty, four white walls with nothing on them. I leaned up against one of the walls, Axel on the other. But still, the compact nature of the closet meant that our chests were still just inches from touching. And I feel particularly awkward because in this lowly cut top, my chest is exposed. 

I licked my lips and exhaled shakily, clearing my throat again. "S-so..." I said, drunk as ever. Axel smelt like a mix of weed, beer, and body wash. He smelled nice, to be honest, but that's a part of what began to annoy me. His nice smelling body was nearly more intoxicating than all of the alcohol I've consumed. But at the same time, I think the vodka is what's making me have that thought in the first place. 

"What?" He asked. I didn't know if he also felt awkward or not. I couldn't tell. I'm too drunk to analyze what his demeanor is. His silence, though, is making me want to speak more. We're stuck in this room for the next seven minutes so the least we can do is say something.

"I just..." I looked up at him, and he looked down at me. I gulped, his eyes still feeling bright through the dim lighting of this room. It reminded me of the night-- that first night we met, where his icy eyes glimmered like blue stars in the dark sky. Blinking a couple of times, I looked down at his chin, not wanting to hold eye contact or think about that infamous winter. "Why... um, why did you agree to this? We didn't have to do it, you know?"

"We're not doing anything." He responded. I bit my bottom lip and chewed on it nervously, his low voice seeming to fill up any negative space between us.

"Well, yes. Obviously, yeah." I muttered, shaking my head. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, because in a typical encounter with Axel I'd be able to speak properly without any hesitations. But I've never drank so much while being in his presence-- or rather, I've never drank so much ever. And now I'm locked up in this tiny room with him, any movement I make creating a risk of touching his body. "I-I know that." I said. I furrowed my eyebrows, looking down slightly. I ran my tongue across my teeth, "We... could at least talk? This doesn't have to be awkward."

"I'm not feeling awkward." He said without any faltering. I huffed, irritated that none of this seemed to be making him uncomfortable. I still kept my eyes away from his face and looked further down at my shoes. But unfortunately keeping my head lowered like this caused my face to bump against his chest. "Oh," I tapped my skin then quickly raised my hand, covering my forehead where I'd hit him. I bit the inside of my cheek, now definitely too embarrassed to look at his face. 

Why do I have to be in this situation right now? "This closet is smaller than I thought it would be, so..." I said, as if that was meant to be a defense for me hitting him. I sighed, Axel now being silent in front of me. I kept my eyes down on his chin. It's dark in here, but still his jaw looks chiseled and smooth. "You'd think for a house like this, the closets would be bigger." I went on. "I feel like even the closets in my house are bigger. This is like-- Well, I'm shocked even two of us fit in here." 

I licked my lips, my drunk nature making my neck hot. I felt myself start to sweat a little bit, and I'm nervous over the fact that he's not saying anything. Is he mad at me? I just kept talking because he's so quiet. And maybe if I speak quickly, the time that we have together in this closet will go by faster.