CONSUME

[40] consume

***

kameron springfield

"Axel!" I shouted, strong gusts weaving through my hair and pushing my skin. My eyes grew watery not only from this freezing temperature, but from the overwhelming rush of relief that was pumping through my veins. 

After hours of searching, I've found him. It's already fallen into nighttime, stars in the sky and the Moon looming over us. 

I ran through the pebbly trail and the white slush of snow was dirtying my boots but I couldn't care less about that now. My hands shoved in my pockets, and the fuzzy hat on my head of hair, I ran to him. 

I wonder if he's even heard me calling his name because he didn't respond in the slightest. Not even a turn to his head or a blink in his eye. 

Approaching Axel I stopped, huffing breathlessly. He stood between trees, looking into the sky and at the white sphere gravitating in the Earth's orbit. 

"Axel..?" I said quietly, sighing and catching my breath. Air filled my lungs, and I batted my eyes to Axel's face. 

It's sullen. His eyes sunken in and his lips pale and cold. As suspected he's wearing nothing on his body but a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt. At least boots are on his feet. I frowned, debating if I should reach a hand up and touch him to catch his attention. But this withdrawn, unexplained demeanor encouraged me to keep my grasp to myself. 

So I clutched the hem of my jacket nervously, gulping down the lump in my throat. The cold air is drying the tears that streamed down my cheeks not even a few minutes ago, making my skin feel dry and cracked. 

"Isn't it interesting?" His voice low and raspy. Like perhaps, maybe, he's been crying too. Except I don't know the reason behind his cries or the meaning behind is sorrows. I've been crying for him. But what's he crying for? It can't be me, surely. I know Axel and I know that he has greater woes than me. 

"What is?" I questioned back, following his line of sight up to the sky. We stood in the forest, surrounded by trees and leaves and sticks and dirt beneath our statures. Darkness in these woods, Axel's glowing face from the moonlight is the most illuminating thing here. I should be scared to be alone in the mountains, perhaps of bears or mountain lions but I'm not. If Axel's here with me then I feel as though everything will be alright. 

"Just the sky. The moon. Everything. The fact that we're living and breathing and we don't even know if there's anything beyond just this. Beyond our earth. There's millions of stars and billions of other moons. But we only worship one of them."

"What do you mean?"

Axel blinked slowly, his thick brown eyelashes covering his lids. And even in this dry, morose state he manages to look enchanting. His sadness is just as beautiful as his happiness. All of his emotions liven me. 

Axel's gaze didn't waver from the galaxy pictured above us, as though he were truly imagining what's beyond it. 

"Is this really all there is?" He asked, quietly with a pit in his throat, shaking his words. "I love everything I have. My brothers, my parents, you. But what about me? Does it mean anything if amongst those things, I'm not included?"

My lungs tightened in my chest. His brothers, his parents, and me. Me.

And what does he mean? That he doesn't love himself? Not even a little bit?

"Axel, come on..." I swallowed slowly, hesitant with my words. "You're amazing. Your family cares about you so much. You're going to graduate high school, and go to college... You have a lot to look forward to."