CONSUME

[11] staring

***

kameron springfield

"This is so beautiful!" Noah exclaimed, a black designer backpack on her back and a matching suitcase rolling behind her. I closed the door to my car, grabbing the last bits of my luggage. We all arrived at the cabin at around the same time, unloading our supplies and bags for the weekend. 

"Wow, it really is!" Ava replied to Noah, holding a pink duffel bag. "You picked this placed right!" She looked to me, "You too, Kameron. Noah said this was all you." 

"Oh, it's..." I looked to Noah who urged me to take credit. "Yeah. Thanks!" I went along with it and then shot Noah a look of appreciation. She smiled at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "Come onnnn! This is going to be so fun!" Dragging me towards the house hurriedly, everyone else followed happily. We checked out the inside, it being huge and cozy. There was a nice living room and it had an all wooden interior, really attesting to the log cabin vibe. There were cute lamps that warmly lit up the space, compensating for the darkness of the sky. 

"Okay, this is what the room arrangements should be!" Noah took charge, as everyone set their bags down on the couch and floors. "Me and Kam, Ava and Jada, Austin and Lucas, and Aidan with Axel. Cool?" 

Nobody protested, all seemingly good with the room divisions. Everybody started heading up the stairs and to their rooms. "Let's go to the pool!" Ava suggested, and we all agreed in unison. Like the others, Noah and I went up to our room to unpack and change into bathing suits. The room was really nice. It wasn't extremely spacious, but it was cozy. There was one queen sized bed in the middle of the room, a nightstand to the side, and a closet.

"It's cute!" Noah said optimistically. Then she began opening up her suitcase on the floor and digging through it. She pulled out a pink bikini that was meant to be tied together with strings. I watched her as she quickly began getting undressed, taking off her hoodie and being left in a sports bra. "Come on!" She looked me up and down and pointed to my suitcase on the floor. "Get dressed." She said. Then she wiggled out of her tight denim mini shorts she was wearing, and slipped off her underwear too. I nodded, looking down at my own bag. 

Of course I packed bathing suits. And they were bikinis, just like Noah's. The issue I'm faced with (and this happens every time I have to go swimming) is putting it onto my body. On people like Noah, and Ava, and Jada, the skimpy outfit looks really good. I feel sometimes as though I look... I don't know. Not as good. 

I can't let this all get to my head though. I've come a long way from the insecure girl I used to be. I'm not one hundred percent confident yet, but I can't keep letting my thoughts of inferiority get in the way of me living my life and having fun. So I took a deep breath, and looked back up to see Noah all changed and ready. She whipped out a pair of flip flops and motioned her hands in the air, "What are you waiting for, exactly?" 

"Nothing," I shrugged. I smiled at her, "Go ahead, I just need to dig through my bag. No idea where I put my swimming stuff." I lied. Noah rolled her eyes, oblivious. "Okay, but hurry up! I'll wait for you downstairs with some towels." She said, exiting the room and closing the bedroom door behind her. 

I sighed, picking out the solid black bikini I had in my organized suitcase. Then I licked my lips. "It's fine, we'll be in the water anyways." I told myself aloud. It's true. Nobody will see my body while we're in the dark pool. It's night time and it'll be hard to make out anything. I do feel wary at the idea of Axel seeing me in the bikini and maybe finding me unattractive. Maybe this will be a turn-off for him.