CONSUME

[50] epilogue

***

Four Years Later

___

kameron springfield

The warm breeze brushed my skin, bare sun kissed face and glossed lips. My dyed red hair is tied up in a bun, curly waves flowing every which way. The palm trees all around me rustled, and the waves crashing against the water of the ocean are sounds that I've grown to find deep comfort in.

It's already the summer before my fourth and last year of college-- I can't believe how far I've come. I'm about to graduate next year and all of this, the life I'm living now, is a dream come true. It's surreal. Still, happiness is a mystery I'm chasing. True bliss is unknown to me. 

After figuring out who I really am, I've found that true joyousness and the thrill for living everyday life isn't something that's a part of me. But that's alright. 

I'm okay just being okay, I think. There's nothing wrong with that. 

Sitting on the beach in a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, the sun began to set. The sky is painted an orange color, pink hues meshing together with it and clouding up the view beautifully. Palm trees swayed and I can hear the leaves clashing together. 

Losing contact with everybody from my hometown wasn't what I anticipated. I thought Noah Sinner and I would always be friends, but I suppose being an adult makes it quite difficult to maintain long-distance friendships. I suppose that's what I deserve for never going back to Pennsylvania to visit her. Our texts and calls faded and soon fizzled out by our second year of college. 

I just turned twenty-one last month, and officially being an adult is more underwhelming than I thought it would be. It feels like any other age. No more significant than the last. 

"Hey," My boyfriend approached me. I smiled at the sight of him, tanned skin and black hair waving across his forehead. He took a seat beside me, two drinks in his hand. Taking the bottle of beer, I instantly brought it to my lips. 

"Hey," I said after drinking. "Thanks for the drink."

Kyle and I have been dating for the past six months. It's been pretty great. He's the first person I've dated since... High school. And I think it's going alright. Aside from a couple of messy hookups throughout my first and second years of college, it's nice to have something steady and stable. Kyle gives me that. 

I don't know how serious it is. We don't see each other everyday and we haven't said 'I love you,' but I have grown to prefer it that way. There's nothing wrong with being casual. 

I never thought I was made for casual. But Kyle makes it seem not too bad. Maybe we'll turn into something more but I'm not putting any sort of pressure on us. If it works, it works, and if doesn't, that's fine.

Kyle is yet to meet my mother, though she's been dying to lay her eyes on him. I've insisted that we're nowhere near the stage in our relationship to where he needs to meet my mom but she's innately nosy. Maybe they'll meet soon. I don't know. 

As for my father... I haven't heard from him in over two years. Last I knew, he was somewhere in Puerto Rico, or perhaps it was London. I don't remember and I've yet to find it within myself to care. He's out of my life and I prefer it that way. He pays for my college tuition-- whatever isn't covered by my scholarship, which I appreciate. 

But everything else is my responsibility. Working two jobs over the summers and picking up shifts here and there during the semesters, I've made do with what I've got. I don't mind working, in fact it feels good to occupy myself and earn money that's just for me.