CONSUME

[26] baby

***

kameron springfield

Tight dresses, boringly classical music and mundane small talk are things I legitimately cannot stand. It's the most annoying thing in the world-- having to pretend to be proper. Everybody in this room is suffocated by the pressure of being posh. It's as though this party is a competition of who can be the most sophisticated. 

I sipped on the glass of fizzy soda in my hand, tasting the lemony drink. Gulping, the flavor of my strawberry lip gloss mixed on my taste buds.

I glanced across the room, Axel and his brothers sitting and chatting with other people. It's incredible how they fit into this scene so easily. Precisely pressed buttoned shirts, shined shoes and flashy watches. 

I looked away from them. I haven't interacted with Axel in a few days. Him and his family have been in South Carolina all week, and this is the first time I'm seeing them since their return. 

This is the Thanksgiving party that my mother has been dreading and planning for what feels like forever. I breathed in sharply, clutching the cold cup in my palm and trying to resist the urge to spazz out. This dress I have on feels so uncomfortable that I may just tear it off. 

It's tied up in the back, and wrapped around my neck. I have to keep my posture upright and my head straight, the heavy bun in my hair feeling heavier than a dumbbell. 

Soft music played throughout the house, and the lights were dim with a warm ambiance. It smelt of wine and cheese, along with a mix of expensive perfumes and colognes. Audible chatter and exaggerated laughs spurred from everywhere around me, as I stood alone watching the guests. 

My house doesn't feel like my house with so many people in it. 

The only family here are myself, my mom, and my two uncles with their wives and children. Everybody else is a friend-- mostly all here to speak with my father. 

My father made it clear that he'd make an appearance at this dinner party, yet it's thirty minutes into mingling and drinks, and not a single word has been uttered regarding his whereabouts. He was supposed to be here long before the party began, but he's nowhere to be seen. I haven't spoken to him in months-- not since the last time he was here. I can't help but feel anxious about meeting him. What will he say to me? Should I prepare for crude comments and unnecessary critiques about my appearance? Will he belittle my aspirations once more, or will he jump right in to attack my mom. Who knows...

I sighed, my outfit feeling more like an enclosure than a cover up. I feel so made up. My mother insisted I wear makeup, and do my hair well. My dress is expensive and the close-toed flats on my feet are surprisingly uncomfortable for a heelless shoe. 

My two uncles, Dave and Peter, are here tonight. I haven't been around them in about seven years. It's been a long time. Dave and Peter are decent men. They're nothing like my father. The age gap between them is significant. My dad must be in his mid to late fifties, while his younger brothers can't be much older than twenty five or thirty. 

They have wives and children now, unlike the last time I saw them. I'm meeting two new cousins who just arrived in this world, along with my cousin Johnny. I saw him last when he was about three years old. 

As if my thoughts were being listened to, a familiar dark skinned man approached me. "Kameron, I don't think I've said hello yet!" Dave said to me, reaching over and pulling me to a hug. I uncomfortably reciprocated, then I moved away from his touch. Dave resembles my father a lot more than Peter does. Dave's facial structure is a lot like my dad, and they share many of the same features.