You make loving fun (shisa fanfiction)

Can you save me from myself

Lisa Pov
"Please say I wasn't to late" I have never seemed him like this . All my fault . My fault . I knelt down to his frail body .
"Shane why?" I murmured tears from in in the corner of my eyes . It was hard to look at him . He looked so ... dead. His whole body looked like it would colalpse and dispear soon . He was so cold the last fire of life in him , was flikering it would soon depart if I didnt act fast . His blue feeble eyes looked at me . They were more then eyes , windows to his suffering inside him .
"You did this to me" they yelled and then "Lisa"?
But wait I realized the last line came from his mouth .
"Yes , Shane "
"Why did you come back" he asked in dazed . He closed his eyes .
"I -
He opened his eyes again and I swear if they were hands they would have choked me to death " Why did you leave me in the first place"
"Shane I'm so sorry . It's a huge story "
He tried his best to scoot himself up to lean of my shoulder . He allocated his head comfortably on my shoulder and whispered flimsy "I have time "
I started explaining everything that happened as fast as possible , scared to hear his reaction . I took a huge breath and afraid of how he would react , I sneaked a glance at him. His face remained the same . Tired ? Mad? Mournful ? Wasn't to sure . Since the silence was swallowing us both I decided to break it
"But why did you do this to yourself "?
He remained quiet , as a tear slowly ran down his cheek . Watching him like this made me numb all over .

"I- his voiced cracked. I need you Lisa god dammit " he yelled letting out a sob . With out you ... with out you I..I'm nothing more then a body . Sure I can talk , walk , eat but inside I can't function . Your absence drains out my happiness . I'm like a balloon I just float around all empty ."

I was speechless.

"But why hurt yourself ? You almost killed yourself for god sakes !"

"Because fuck Lisa the balloon can't survive like this floating around . It needs some kind of string to guide it , you know ? But when the string just left with no warning....it's leaves the balloons to its vulnerable self , and after a while of just floating around its bound to pop or slowly deflate."

I looked at him . I wish I could know what he was thinking . He was not looking at me .

"But I mean , the balloon couldn't pop himself"

"Lisa , your not understanding . All my life I have been a balloon . Yes sometimes , I didn't feel empty, sometimes I kinda had a sort of string . When I was I learned to dwell with it and float on . Sometimes I wished that I would bump into a tree and pop, but I never had the will to actually kill myself you see? I wondered , what could make me do that ? "

He started into spaced and then started straight into my eyes , enough to give me chills.

"But Lisa , you probably know this but a balloon got know arms so it can't realy harm himself right ? So I need some kind of horrible "tragic miracle " but that ain't never happening . But when you left me your absence left it was like you took all the air out of the balloon , and what happens to a balloon with no air "

"It dies"

"Exactly" He laughed "that was so emo , but seriously Lisa do you understand "

He was laughing and crying at the same time , and some how I knew deep inside that everything was going to be ok. Except the fact that the moment I thought that ,I felt it . My water broke .