Emergent

Chapter 27

Tobias POV

Something strange has been going on with me. I've no control over it. This happens whenever I'm alone with Tris. It's as if I've been injected with the truth serum or something. It's like, she says something to me and I want to say something, but other words I didn't want to and mean to say will be prompted out of my mouth. We've rarely been seeing each other. Hell, I don't even remember the last time I kissed her.

"Tobias?" I hear Tris calling me. I turn around to find her standing behind me. Her face is emotionless. The enthusiasm I used to see in her eyes whenever she sees me isn't there. Suddenly, her emotionless face turned into one of sadness. I'm sure I'm mirroring her expression. After a few seconds, she wipes her face of all emotion."Let's go for lunch." She says.

I hate this. All of this. Why am I like this? What is causing me to act like this? What is happening to us? I don't know. I can't take this anymore. It's as if we're broken up or something. It's really painful. She turns to leave but I grab her wrist and pull her back. I kiss her, really hard. I grab her waist and she wraps her legs around my waist. I pull her up and seat her onto the counter. She has her hands tangled in my hair. I fiddle with the hem of her shirt while she slips her under my shirt. I shudder in bliss. She pulls away and rips my shirt off me.

She squeezes my shoulder and move down to her collarbone and trail kisses along her tattoo. I pull away and look into her eyes. I see tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to fall. We bring our foreheads together and I take her face in my hands.

"I don't know what to do." I state.

"What's happening, Tobias?" She asks.

"I really don't know, Tris." I say. There, finally I really say what I meant to say.

"Are you getting bored? Are you cheating on me? Tell me now, I promise I won't be mad." She asks. The whole time she says that, I feel my heart slowly breaking. This attitude of mine that isn't even initiated by me is causing her trust to dwindle in me. I open my mouth to say 'no'. But something in me prompts me to say 'yes'. I swallow it down.

"No, no way!" I say.

"Then, why? Why're you like this? Tell me the truth!" She asks, the tears now falling down her face. I open my mouth to answer truthfully but the urge comes even stronger now and words come falling out of my mouth:

"You want the truth, Tris? The truth is I'm really getting bored of you and I think I want to find someone else way better than you!" No! No way! I did not just say that. Her whole face contorts and she starts crying even harder and runs away. The whole I'm standing there, with my mouth hanging open. No way! I didn't say that!

I thought I was making it better but this has just gotten a million times worse.