karaoke machine | p.js

1.09

The moment Jisung heard those words leave his manager's mouth, his head started spinning. His eyes widened a bit in shock and his mouth went dry. Jisung's heart plummeted to the floor as he tried to think of every possible excuse.

"What do you mean?" Jisung asked, trying to play off the truth but he could feel his heart slamming against his chest.

Dongmin frowned at Jisung's question, "Was she in the dorm when I came over?"

Jisung's jaw clenched and he couldn't help but shrink away from his manager. Jisung never had a bad relationship with his manager, he saw him as an older brother. Even so, Jisung couldn't deny how absolutely terrified he was at this moment.

"I'm not trying to scare you," Dongmin said, and by the softness of his voice, Jisung knew that he was being genuine. "But if you get caught–"

"Hyung, I don't-," Jisung felt a lump form in his throat and had to clear it just to get his sentence out, "Hyung, I don't know what you're talking about,"

Jisung could feel his heart starting to beat frantically against his chest. He blinked hard and tried to slow down breathing but the underlying panic of his company finding out about his soulmate scared him beyond belief.

"Jisung, are you alright?" Dongmin asked, a bit shocked by Jisung's sudden shaky voice.

"Yeah," Jisung turned away and waved his hand, "Hyung, can we please talk about this tomorrow?"

Dongmin pursed his lips but nodded nonetheless. "Alright," he gently patted Jisung's back but the sudden jolt only made Jisung grunt instead of feeling comforted, "Good night," Dongmin said as he left to enter his apartment.

When the door closed, Jisung let out a groan and leaned against the wall. Jisung's chest felt like it was going to explode and his whole body had this aching antsy feeling all over it. Jisung closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop himself from crying as he felt the tension behind his eyes.

"Ugh," Jisung groaned. Every muscle in Jisung's body tensed, it felt as if someone had reached inside his chest and was trying to squeeze all the oxygen from her lungs.

With a shaky hand, Jisung punched the code of his apartment in and slid in through the door. When the door shut behind him, Jisung felt his chest tighten. Every breath he took was rejected by his lungs causing him to drop to the ground to try and catch his breath.

"Jisung?"

Jisung barely heard Renjun's voice call to him. Renjun peaked into the front foyer and, upon seeing his younger member crouched on the ground, rushed to his side. Gently, Renjun placed a hand on Jisung's back, rubbing gentle circles into it.

"I'm right here," Renjun said softly.

It wasn't uncommon for Jisung to have panic attacks, in fact, Jisung had been going to therapy for his anxiety and panic disorder for about a year now. It seemed to have helped a lot, but it still wasn't out of the ordinary for Jisung to have panic attacks every so often.

"He knows," Jisung managed to pant out.

"What?" Renjun asked, confused.

"Dongmin knows," Jisung closed his eyes tightly, tears starting to stream down his face, "He saw me and Naerin leave. He knew that she was over. He saw her. He's going to tell the company. What should I do? I didn't want this to happen, I don't- I-"

"Hey, hey, Ji, listen to me," Renjun pulled Jisung into a tight hug and Jisung's arms immediately clung onto Renjun. "Just take a moment to calm down. Take a deep breath, I'm right here,"

Jisung dug his head into Renjun's shoulder, unable to stop the tears from streaming down his face. In the back of Jisung's mind, he was telling himself to calm down, to just breathe normally but his body seemed to be disconnected from his mind. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see straight.