Welcome to the Jungle, Sweetheart

Stupid gay men

Michelle sat silently, waiting patiently for either man to reply. Axl, who had only cast her a small glance when she turned around, and seemingly didn't care, exchanged unsure looks with Slash in the rearview mirror. Michelle blinked curiously, "Is there... something going on between you two? Because I actually, uh, talked to a nurse who said that Slash, you were Axl's boyfriend." 

Axl sat up and glared at Slash, "What did you say to her?" 

Slash flinched a little under his glare, "I-I dunno I just-" 

Axl flopped back onto the seat with his hands covering his face, grumbling to himself and taking deep breaths. Michelle noticed the tension, "Are you guys dating? 'Cause I mean, its cool if you are that's great for you guys-" 

Slash sighed, "We aren't a thing. There's no thing." 

Michelle backed up, looking out the window coolly, "Okay okay..." She was quiet for a second, unsure of if she should continue. "But why were you guys making out? That's not normal if there isn't a thing. And why did you not want Izzy to know?" 

Axl growled, "Damn I thought you shut up-" he sat up, and Michelle figured he must've accepted that he wasn't avoiding the conversation. He sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples with irritation, "Alright, I'd like to start by noting to the both of you- if I were able to move my leg right now, I'd jump out of the car." 

Michelle blinked, "Have you... Done that before?" 

Slash nodded slowly with a grim knowing. Axl nodded, "Yeah, several times. I sprained my wrist from it once. Anyway-" Axl took a deep breath, "What you walked in on wasn't anything. We were just fucking around-" 

"YOU WERE JUST WHAT!?" 

Slash bit his lip trying not to laugh as Axl dropped his head onto his knees, covering his head. He slowly calmed his breathing before sitting up. "Not like that, I just meant we were just being silly. It wasn't anything." 

Michelle shrugged, "Alright alright.. It's a shame though, you guys would be really cute together." Axl breathed heavily, flopping back down on the seat, cracking the window a little. Then he fell asleep. 

Slash side-glanced at Michelle, "You really think we'd be a cute couple?" 

She nodded. "Oh yeah, for sure. I mean, I get you guys think its a little unorthodox and that you're all rockstar people and stuff. But its not a big deal really these days. I think a lot of people would actually think its hot versus judging. There're more stars who've come out of the closet yknow." 

Slash rolled his eyes, "Yeah I know." He shifted slightly, "Actually, if I'm being honest, it took me about a month to realize Axl was in fact straight." 

She perked up with interest, "Really?" He nodded. 

"Well I mean, okay, he has the long hair, he dresses in women's clothing, he sometimes wears makeup, he calls everybody including his male friends sweetheart, honey or baby, he literally worships Elton John and Freddie Mercury, any time he's drunk he'll flirt with anybody with a nice face, whenever he's on stage he latches onto me like a leech, he's actually really sexual with me on stage and its not normal, and seemingly every time he's drunk after a show, if he's not fucking a girl, he's got his tongue in my ear." 

Michelle smiled, "Are you sure he's not at least bi?" 

Slash thought about the mark on Axl's neck again. He shook his head, "He's the most gay-behaving straight guy ever." 

Michelle smirked, "Yeah unless Freddie Mercury said he wanted to take him home." 

Slash nodded with amusement, "Yeah, if Freddie Mercury told him to give him a lap dance and a blowjob he'd be bi within however long it takes to get his shirt off."